Popular Memos

Top 10 Lists:

  1. Top 10 Condiments
  2. Top 10 Childhood Crushes
  3. Top 10 Humans With Animal Nicknames
More...

Man Moments:

  1. Warrior Dash!
  2. What Beer Should I Drink?
  3. We've All Been There...
More...

Television:

  1. Conan O'Brien, where art thou?
  2. Cinemassacre’s Top 20 Urkel Moments
  3. Jersey Shore: The True Hollywood Story
More...

Videos:

  1. French prankster Remi Gallard
  2. Michael Cera And The Cast Of Jersey Shore
  3. Military & Wheel of Fortune
More...

Selleck Waterfall Sandwich

by Captain Yar

That is all. Tom Selleck, a waterfall and a sandwich. That is all this site has to offer. You have a problem with that…go take it up with Magnum PI.

selleck Selleck Waterfall Sandwich

O yea, this site has a pretty dope theme song as well. Check that shit out.

Don’t be jealous because Tom Selleck gets to hang out in sweet waterfall destinations with some pretty sexy sandwiches.

Red Hot Chili Peppers…Luke Warm?

by Captain Flintheart

I’m going to start off by saying that the Red Hot Chili Peppers is one of my favorite “modern” bands. If that isn’t kosher with you, you should probably stop reading this article.

Chili Peppers guitarist and musical madman, John Frusciante has quit the band. After releasing the double album, Stadium Arcadium in 2006 and the accompanying world tour that followed for the next 2 years, the band took a much needed hiatus. RHCP are now back in the studio recording their follow up album, but it was announced a few weeks ago that Frusciante had quit during the band’s time off over a year ago.

JF21 Red Hot Chili Peppers...Luke Warm?

Frusciante has had a turbulent relationship with the band from the get go. Joining the band as guitar player for 1989’s Mother’s Milk replacing his idol, Hillel Slovak after he died of a heroin overdose. In 1991, the band finally broke through with the stunning masterpiece Blood, Sugar, Sex, Magick. An incredible amalgam of funk, punk, rock, sex, rap and classic rock. It became their commercial break through due in no small part to Frusciante’s blistering guitar aptitude.

Midway through the successful tour for this album, Frusciante abruptly quit. Not liking what came along with being an international celebrity he retreated from the lime light, becoming a recluse of almost J.D. Salinger proportions. This eventually brought him into grips with severe heroin addiction. Meanwhile, the Chili Peppers decided to solider on with a guitarist who was a punk/funk alumnus, Dave Navarro from Jane’s Addiction. They recorded One Hot Minute in 1995, a middle of the road release that while was well received was stylistically stagnant.

In 1998, Flea convinced Frusciante to get clean and return to RHCP, saving him from almost certain death as well as the band. They recorded Californication and mounted both a huge commercial and artistic comeback as modern rock radio welcomed them back with open arms. They followed this newly found success with another critically heralded album, By The Way. Where the funk took a back seat to song craft, resulting in more melodic and relaxed compositions.

RHCP1 Red Hot Chili Peppers...Luke Warm?

This leads us back to 2006, when the band who had recorded enough for a triple album, released the double disced, Stadium Arcadium. The resulting cd was a mixed bag that acted as a summation of every style the band play since Blood, Sugar, Sex, Magick, while simultaneously cranking up the commercial appeal. The band toured extensively and than took an indefinite hiatus which saw Frusciante release his tenth solo album.

When the Red Hot Chili Peppers did return to the studio in the fall of ‘09, Frusciante announced on his blog he had quit the band during the hiatus. Josh Klinghoffer was named as the band’s in studio replacement (it hasn’t been announced whether he will tour with them as well, but it seems likely). Klinghoffer is kind of a young apprentice of sorts to Frusciante. On many of John’s solo albums, Klinghoffer and himself were a two man band, playing all the instruments. For the Chili Peppers’ Stadium Arcadium tour, Klinghoffer was included as a 2nd guitarist to allow Frusciante greater technical freedom on stage. So his joining the band seems like a natural choice.

josh klinghoffer Red Hot Chili Peppers...Luke Warm?

Many fans are skeptical. While no doubt, Klinghoffer is a talented guitarist and musician, their was a certain synergy Frusciante brought to the band as well as complex backing vocals. This captain has his reservations, but he’s willing to watch as it plays out to see if the Red Hot Chili Peppers can reinvent themselves one more time.

You might like these related memos:

How About Some Face With Your Cup Of Coffee?

by Captain Flintheart

It’s no secret I love old ass movies. This classic scene from, “The Big Heat” starring Glenn Ford, Gloria Grahame and badass villain extraordinaire, Lee Marvin is no exception. All you need to know is Marvin throws a scolding hot pot of coffee in Grahame’s face. Captain Polish did the exact same thing to Captain Yar during the Meeting Of The Minds when he found out Yar didn’t put the toilet seat down.

Super Bowl Prediction

by Captain Polish

This year’s Super Bowl is going to be pimp. You have Peyton Manning vs. Drew Brees – amazing offense vs. equally amazing offense. One thing is for certain, there will not be a lack of points scored.

This my friends could be a Super Bowl for the ages. This is the one you’ll tell you kids about some day and tell them where you were when Pierre Garcon or Pierre Thomas (whichever Frenchman you like) scored big.

cheerleaders saints Super Bowl Prediction

Regardless of the score of the game, the real winner is you. But let’s see who will win by looking at some other stats:

Super Bowl is on the fast track to becoming the next federal holiday. Soon business and schools will be closed to accommodate for the tardiness and absenteeism this festive game brings with it. Schools in New Orleans are not open Monday February 8th, but schools in Indianapolis will only have a two hour delay. Suck it. Winner: New Orleans

New Orleans entire community is rallying around the Saints. Their emergence after post-Katrina has been a huge lift for the city. In Indianapolis, people love the Colts. Simply put. While both cities love their teams, the Saints are more ingrained into the fabric of New Orleans than those sluts the Colts (who moved in from Baltimore). Winner: New Orleans

I have no clue what Indianapolis serves as its main dish, but have you ever tasted creole? I could eat gumbo and crawfish every day of my life if need be. Winner: New Orleans

Saints Cheerleaders vs. Colts Cheerleaders. Winner: New Orleans

The party scene in Indianapolis is probably pretty solid. They have some bars, clubs, a good flock of hot girls, etc. It’s a town where you can have fun. I was in New Orleans two years ago. On a Tuesday in September Bourbon Street was packed wall to wall with girls flashing anybody they saw. Wow. Winner: New Orleans

Every media junket has decided to ask the Saints how they are going to deal with Peyton Manning and his awesomeness for the past 10 days or so. Can you imagine being asked the same question for 10 straight days? Wouldn’t that rile you up and make you go nuts? The same thing happened to Texas in 2006 when they ended up whooping the favored USC to win the coveted BCS bowl game. History repeats. Winner: New Orleans

If you wanted a sports synopsis of the game, ESPN does a solid job. They have dudes who talk sports every day and get paid for it. Amazing. This is the best we can do rating some of the other intangibles. When all said and done, New Orleans seems prepared to win and have the wildest party ever conceived on the face of the earth.

Enjoy the bean dip, beer, chicken wings, and nachos. You’re in for one helluva game.

You might like these related memos:

Odd Chum

by Captain Polish

Polar Bear new prey Odd Chum

You might like these related memos:

Where Are They Now: The Pink Power Ranger

by Captain Flintheart

Pink Ranger1 Where Are They Now: The Pink Power Ranger

Have you ever wondered what happened to Amy Jo Johnson, the pink ranger from Mighty Morphin Power Rangers? Me either. But the other day while cruising a music forum I discovered she has her own band. Not much to report besides the fact that she got significantly hotter than her Power Ranger days and now she makes shitty Sarah McLaughlin music. Such is life.

Pink Ranger Where Are They Now: The Pink Power Ranger

You can go to her Myspace page here. Creep on Creepers.

It’s Hump Day, Bitch

by Captain Flintheart

Wednesday…also known as Hump Day (or Hump Day, if you go to school here) the mid point of the week and one of the final hurdles to get over. It can be rough, but the Captains have a little secret to help you get through it. It involves a little Paul Simon, a little Chevy Chase, a music video and a thermos full of Jack Daniels.

Get the Flash Player to see this player.

Caveman Noises

by Captain Polish

It’s come to my attention from several friends, co-workers, family members, and strangers, that I make sounds similar to what a caveman would make. Is that a problem?

caveman Caveman Noises

Personally, I think cavemen get a bad rap because everyone is always all caught up in them being primitive, but seriously these motherfuckers were the world’s most hardcore inventors. Don’t believe me? Look at a short list of their accomplishments:

  • Fire: first people to figure out a way to create it
  • The Wheel: first source of modern transportation
  • Steak: yep, they invited the flame broil
  • Weaponry: clubs, spears, and arrows
  • Art: cave paintings (Captain Kirk was actually caught masturbating to what he thought was a cave woman painting but it turned out to be a primitive deer painting.)
  • Polygamy: cavemen did it right and selected quantity over quality

Now tell me it’s a damn honor to be considered a caveman!

Just to be a dick, because you’re reading a blog that might contain three of the modern world’s biggest assholes, walk around the next few days and give our a heart “rahhhh” or “runnh” at the top of your lungs. You’ll feel fantastic. And if people look at you funny, feel free to club them mercilessly with your shoe (or anything within reason for that matter).

The only shitty thing about being considered a modern day caveman is those pussy GEICO cavemen that ruined the image. It’s the equivalent of what hair metal did to rock music in the mid-80’s.

You might like these related memos:

Pages: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 ...99 100 101 Next

Better Tag Cloud