Treasure Chest for September, 2009


Sep302009

Infinite Pizza Toppings

pizza toppings1 Infinite Pizza Toppings

I love pizza, I could eat it everyday. I like my pizza with a ton of shit on it. When I make frozen pizzas i’ll raid my fridge for anything I can throw on top. Normally, I avoid plain cheese or just pepperoni at every chance I get. 10 years ago you had a choice of cheese, extra cheese, pepperoni or mushrooms (and sometimes sausage) or any combination of those toppings. That was it. In fact, I remember when “white” pizza came out…it was a huge deal. Anyway, that’s how the chain pizza stores rolled and mom and pop places too.

Now it’s a whole new ball game. You go to some places you can literally get anything you want. Oh, you want a half a chicken breast on your pizza? Done. You want egg plant parm on your pie? Fuck yea. You need your pizza equipped with a sacrificial lamb doused in the blood of a virgin? Check and Mate. This pizza joint by me even has a 2AM drunken Captain Flintheart pizza favorite, mash potatoes and bacon. I’ve never eaten it sober and it always makes me feel like a ninja turtle when I eat it, but it’s fucking delicious.

When did this trend begin? But more importantly what the fuck took so long to make this happen?



Sep292009

Let’s Go Hiking!

I went hiking this past weekend. I don’t know why, but I started this a few years ago and it’s addicting. I typically climb high peaks and marvel at the awesome landscape and what not. Yeah, it sounds rather corny, but try it yourself. You might like it.

So after getting up at the crack ass of dawn, picking up Captain Flintheart, Steveo, and Fez, we headed for the hills. The first hour or so was uneventful. You know the drill: walking up a fucking steep hill, sweating your ass off, and hating life. Then it happened. We met some people.

The first group was from St. Lawrence University. Two guys were hiking together and we mistook them for lovers because they both sported high socks until we found out they were with four women who were wearing spandex (one of four was good looking). These folks informed it was “peak week” and that we will probably see more people from their college on the trails. Fine. OK. Whatever.

We continued our trek until we came to this giant wall that is straight out of the Old Testament:

whiteface1 Lets Go Hiking!

It took a bit to figure out how to tackle this, but after watching several Canadians attempt it and fail, we eventually we figured it out and on we went. The Canadians by the way spoke English and French intermittently which was intense.

Twenty minutes later we reached the top of this mountain and it was crowded with hikers who we talked with along the way and other people who actually drove up the mountain! Who does that! Well, the only good thing about these people that drove up was that they looked crazy as shit.

Exhibit A – Random Indian Family Giving me the Death Stare:

whiteface2 Lets Go Hiking!

Exhibit B – Random Guy with Man Fro Pony Tail and Matching Jorts

whiteface3 Lets Go Hiking!

As I took all of this in (the crazy people, not the mountainous landscapes), I started questioning which was better: all the random people I came across or the actual views from the top? I can’t decide anymore. Good scenery is always nice, but it’s not everyday I have the chance to see crazy people.

Well, here’s a pic of Lake Placid. You decide which is better.

whiteface4 Lets Go Hiking!

It was still a pretty phenomenal day regardless. The walk down was smooth and uneventful, food at A&W’s was amazing, and the Nightmare River Band rocked the Lark Tavern at night. That’s a quality fall Saturday.

Side note: The gentleman with the hat on in both pics above is Captain Flintheart (we needed a diversion to grab these photos without looking too crazy). The Captain’s will more than likely begin popping up into posts here and there. Look for this and many more new random things to come as the Meeting of the Minds nears!



Sep292009

Alright! Way to go Dad!

The 1960s, 70s and 80s were an extremely interesting time for fashion, especially for men. Some things flew back then that necessarily wouldn’t today. Let’s face it, we all have seen a photo or 2 of our dad’s rockin’ it in a pair of uncomfortably short shorts. You gotta believe that there is a method behind their fashion madness. Who knows…maybe it was for mobility or just because they enjoyed a nice cool breeze on their inner thighs. Only they hold the answer.

This website just so happens to showcase your dad in short shorts. That’s right, if you take a look hard enough, you can see your dad getting super busy as the local ho-down.

dad Alright! Way to go Dad!

So head on over to Dads in Short Shorts, they don’t bite…..hard.



Sep292009

Substituting Emotions For Technology

Kids today don’t know how good they have it. Think about it, teenagers will never have to speak to someone’s parents when they want to call a friend. Or even better when they want to call someone they have a crush on.

With the advent of cell phones, instant messenger and various other social networking websites teenagers won’t ever have that dose of healthy fear or teenage suspense. They will never have to ask someone on a date in person ever again. They only need to text them or send them a message on facebook. This bothers me because it will take away from the universal feelings that come along with being a teenager.

Perhaps after 50 or so years those parameters that define teenagers will be completely revised and redrawn. Maybe every generation feels this way about the generation that succeeds them. I’m sure my parents are pissed that when they had a paper due in college they had to go to the local library and search for books with the card catalog then photocopy any pages they thought would be useful. Than they watched me do a whole paper without moving from the computer.

It’s a give and take process for sure. But to think technology will be a stand in for masking emotions, no matter how advanced it may be is still a sad state of affairs.



Sep282009

Fuck You Cat.

After a week of spreading some TCM love all over the faces of the people of the Bahamas, I return with some goodies for you all.

FuckYouCat.com is a delightful site that pretty much takes a huge shit on cats. It shows them at the worst of times and the really worst of times. Take this for example:

Get the Flash Player to see this content.

A skydiving cat. As the writer of this site says perfectly:

I really enjoy the concept of taking a cat out of its natural element and scaring the living shit out of it. In general I think we as humans should do that more often. That is why I love what these Russians are doing. This guy put baggies over the cats paws so it couldn’t claw him, then strapped it to his chest and jumped out of a fucking plane. You can see the cat lose his shit right as he’s about to go over the edge. That’s funny to me.

Sure, the Russians may be a bunch of freedom hating pale alcoholics, but one thing is for sure: they know how to put cats in their place. You really have to respect them for that.

Kudos my fellow cat hating friend. Kudos.

Alf was a sexy beast for always wanting to eat cats and for that, we salute you.



Sep282009

Your Ass Just Got Pilloried

I’m going to go out on a limb here, but this is one of the coolest things to happen that’s actually made it into the news for quite some time. Well, maybe the samurai sword story was pretty bad ass, but I digress.

So some dude decided it was a good idea after he got rejected to buy alcohol at a local VFW to burn their flag – the flag that was sent over from Iraq. The VFW found out who it was and gave the guy three choices: (1.) Be handed over to the police, (2.) fight man-to-man with a seasoned war veteran (probably from Iraq, Desert Storm, or Vietnam), or (3.) be duck-taped to the flag pole of the VFW whose flag he burned.

untitled Your Ass Just Got Pilloried

Numb nuts chose choice three and became the first man pilloried since lord knows when. For those of you who aren’t familiar with the term “pillory,” it’s a medieval practice where a town passes scorn on a wrong-doer through public humiliation. Think of the stocks of “pillories” you might have come across in your wonder years when going on family vacations and such.

The dude had to sit duck taped to the flag pole with a sign around his neck for six hours. The VFW is apparently located in the middle of town so there were a lot of passerby’s that passed their judgment on this guy. This was straight out of the medieval times except they didn’t through vegetables and other stuff at him. That would’ve been amazing.

Which brings me to a brief rant: why not do this more often? Think about it. If someone did something that lands them in jail, why not put them in the pillory and let the townsfolk throw crap at them? I guarantee you that crime would go down if convicts knew they had to face the public and just had to take anything dished out at them. It’s about time for some politician to run using that as their platform. Now that’s worth voting for! Well, unless you’re the asshat that is in the pillory for the majority of the time.

Anyhow, kudos to the VFW for making this happen. I hope it catches on nationwide.



Sep282009

George Lucas Is Back At It

FRANCE CANNES FILM FESTIVAL 2008

Straight from the fat asses mouth, the Indiana Jones 5 script is being finished off as I am typing this. I can’t even begin to describe the eternal nausea this makes me feel. If your a reader of our blog you might remember i’ve discussed my hatred for the last movie at length here and again here.

Mr. Lucas you and Mr. Spielberg are nothing but money grubbing whores. Why couldn’t you take a cue from the Seinfeld series and not drag to death a good thing? Go out on a high note, don’t tarnish your well regarded body of work (further).  What could you possibly do with any more money? You can’t buy planets…yet and as far as I know, ours isn’t for sale.

Worse yet,  there is a rumor (and hopefully only a rumor) that Sean Connery is coming out of retirement to play dear old dad once again. While I would enjoy hearing him refer to Indy as “Junior” a trillion times, i’m pretty positive in the Crystal Skull they said he was dead. Please don’t tell me he was actually abducted by Aliens.

Maybe this movie will take place in the 1960’s and Harrison Ford has to beat the shit out of CGI hippies, “Mutt” gets drafted and Marion becomes the world’s ugliest go-go dancer. Oh, and I guarantee they will somehow make Indiana the 2nd shooter on the grassy knoll. For some reason the last movie found it necessary to tie him into every important world event.

Just do the world a favor Lucas and give up.



Sep272009

New SNL Comedian Jenny Slate Drops F-bomb in Premiere

Check out this site for the best video out there.:

Jenny Slate marked her debut on Saturday Night Live last night by dropping the “f-bomb.” Slate was performing as a raunchy biker chick alongside Kristen Wiig on the show’s 35th season premiere when she said, “You frickin’ just threw an ashtray full of butts at my head. You know what, you stood up for yourself and I fucking love you for that.” Slate’s expletive was clearly not intentional, and her cheeks puffed up immediately after she said it– realizing a second too late what she really said.

Since this may be the last we see of her, the Captains would like to remember her for at least one other thing she did in her career prior to that faithful night she said a word that everyone up after 11:00 uses every day anyway.  From her days in Gabe and Jenny. Enjoy.



Pages: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Next