Disgusted or secretly envious?
Thanks to reader, O’Brien for the suggestion after being inspired by a previous Photo Of The Day.
Disgusted or secretly envious?
Thanks to reader, O’Brien for the suggestion after being inspired by a previous Photo Of The Day.
Remember not too long ago the High School in Brooklyn that had several fairly decent female teachers doing things I wish happened to me in my High School. Let’s have a quick breakdown of what has happened over the past 2 months:
Incident #1
In early December of 09 at James Madison High School, language teachers Alini Brito and Cindy Mauro were caught having fun together naked in their classroom. Unfortunately for them, and their male students, a janitor came across them and being the dick that he was, reported them. Ok first things first Senor Janitor, my initial instinct would be to see if they needed any assistance, you know in de-clothing each other. If they did not, then blackmail comes into affect. Tell them that if you can’t join them, then you will tell on them while in reality you won’t because they are probably 2 of the better looking teachers in the school. Why would you want to ruin possibly the main reason you come to work…besides cleaning up piss and throw-up? Not smart dude.
So these teachers are scolded and sent to the “rubber room”. Some room where you learn about safe sex…I don’t really know. The greatest quote comes from one of their students:
“[Ms. Mauro] was pretty fun,” said junior Eddie Ramirez, 18.
“She dressed like a teenage girl – she’d wear low-cut tops, shorts, three-quarter length jeans. She was kinda sexy.
“You could see that she was the kind of person who would flirt.”
My kind of teacher! Here is a video from this incident (Please note that one of the kids name is Vulcan):
End Incident #1.
Incident #2
Not even a day after Incident #1, in the same school, Social studies teacher Allison Musacchio was accused of having a relationship with a male student. Unfortunately for Allison, this little pimp had a girlfriend at the same school. There is nothing more dangerous in life than a jealous teenage girlfriend I tell you that. That bitches hormones be ragin’ son! This student’s girlfriend got a hold of his phone and saw that this teacher was in his contact list and being the extreme cock block that she is, reported this to the school. Upon viewing this students phone, there were over 200 texts and phone calls between the two. A guy who claims to be this woman’s boyfriend said he doesn’t know of any of these allegations and says that “I try to stay out of her business. I just know she’s a teacher here in Brooklyn”. Your obviously not doing a good job satisfying your woman dude…I mean she went off to have a fling with a high schooler. You just got punked out by a high schooler. Who’s the dick now.
Incident #2 in real form here.
Incident #3
After being dormant for over a month, James Madison High School is back at the sex scandal scene again like a crackhead who gave up for a few hours but then forgot that he was giving up crack only to smoke it again later that same day. This time it is 37 year old gym teacher Lisa Guttilla who is accused of fondling a 14 year old girl. Gutilla kept the girl quiet by promising her that all they would do in gym class was play hopscotch or whatever it is 14 year old girls like to do…text message? I don’t goddamn know. One day after coming home from school the mother saw a hickey on the girls neck and asked her what boy did this to her. She fessed up immediately that it was her female gym teacher. Not only was this a shock to the mother that a teacher did this to her but what a friggen way to find out your daughter is a dyke!
Guttilla is being reassigned and being examined by top men…Top. Men.
The third incident can be found by clicking this blue link.
A final TCM note: Don’t be surprised if you see a porno being made out of this. Much like The Office and most recently, The Jersey Shore (Don’t worry, we will be touching upon this very shortly). Enjoy your day at school kids!
In a Walmart in Ohio, Robert Jenkins walked into the store just like any other patron. Except this trip was to be different than everybody else’s…Robert had a different agenda.

After browsing the lovely selection of meats that Walmart has to offer, Robert was extremely dissatisfied. So, what did this distinguished gentlemen do in response? He whipped out his dick and pissed all over the meats. That is right folks, Robert T. Jenkins of Canton Ohio, pissed all over the meat selection at Walmart. It’s about goddamn time someone has done so. You don’t know how may times I have walked passed (once) the Walmart meat section saying, “Someone should take a huge wiz all over those meats”. Well my friends, Robert T. Jenkins did…and now he is in jail.
From reports, this went on for about a good 23 seconds or so. While no one tried to stop him, everyone just sat there in awe watching him marinate the meats. One woman actually didn’t know this was happened until after security guards apprehended him. She was quoted with saying, “I thought he was looking at the burnt sausages. I didn’t realize that that was his [peener].”
Another patron was standing next to Jenkins during the incident. This patron claimed that Jenkins looked at him, winked, smiled (he was missing a tooth) and said, “I’m just giving the steaks a little flava baby!”
We salute you Robert Jenkins and enjoy your time in jail. Tasty tip for you Robert, the food you get in prison is pre-pissed.
A top ten not done by the captains? Crazy, I know. But Cinemassacre has already brought us The Top 20 Urkel Moments and now they’ve given us The Top Ten Baddest Bad Guys. I gotta couple of gripes (where the fuck is Darth Vader?) but for the most part, I agree. The number once choice makes it reason alone for us to show you this video.
Some people think I’m crazy that I actually listen to this band in my free time and own both their albums… you know what, they are probably right. Never the less, The Advantage is a band that hails from California and only plays Nintendo songs. That’s right. Theme songs from 8 bit N.E.S. games, different boards, the end boss music…they do it all. Note for note renditions played by a live band, 2 guitars, bass and drums. They do all your favorites from Mario 3, Contra, that fucking level in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles where you have to disable all the mines while your underwater and trying not to electrify yourself, Metroid, Zelda, Castlevania you fucking name it.

They even go on tour. You can visit their MySpace here or you can watch a live version of Megaman 2: Flashman Stage below:
Note that after awhile of non stop listening every song begins to sound like the band, Franz Ferdinand.
I don’t think it gets much sweeter than this. What we have here is a breakdown of every Beatles song recorded and released in chronological order. It shows the authorship of the song but also the degree of which it was collaborated on.
This is legitimately fascinating.
Thanks to JT for sending this to our attention.
Those who are wondering who Gordon Shumway is, I will tell you. He is better known as the cat eating furry space…thing nicknamed Alf. You all know who he is, I mean come on, 95% of you had an Alf lunchbox growing up. The other 5% had My Little Pony lunchboxes, yes I’m talking to you Polish.
Well Twitter has brought up plenty of fun things to read like the Rebound Finder or Shit My Dad Says. Now, you can follow what Mr. Shumway has to say. Here is his latest and greatest twat tweet.
I hate musicals. Out of the blue people burst into songs. But then I heard there was one named “Cats”…
O Alf, how funny you were when it came to wanting to eat the cat, and the 1980s.
Get some words of wisdom on how to kill/eat a Melmacian cockroach here
In this episode, we would like to highlight French prankster Remi Gallard. Some good stuff here.