That is correct folks, today is National Cheez-Doodle Day. What a great country we live in where we can dedicate a full 24 hours to a snack food. Can countries like Somalia and Afghanistan do this? Fuck no. The Cheez-Doodle is a goddamn awesome snack. May I remind you it is NOT Cheetos. Don’t get me wrong, Cheetos are good, but they are no Cheez-Doodles.
In lieu of this day, lets break down this florescent orange geese shit look alike snack and see what really makes a cheez doodle, a cheez doodle.
If it wasn’t bright orange, I’d say we were eating a crunchy but yet tasty piece of geese shit.
The florescent orange is a staple color for these cheesy snacks, but we would like to suggest possibly making each puff a different color. Or for you douchey pink dolphin lovers, pink cheez doodles….nah, we wouldn’t allow that to happen here. Or, how about for the upcoming St. Patrick’s Day, green cheez doodles? We would have to also say no to this because its bad enough that our beer gets turned sickly urine green, we don’t need our drunk snack food to be the same color. If you disagree with us, lets pan ahead to March 17, 2009 and your friend asks you what you are eating and drinking:
Friend: Hey, what are you eating and drinking over there?
You: Hey friend, well I am eating geese shit and drinking piss from someone who has gangrene.
They are friggen awesome, and if you say anything else, we will hunt you down and break your neck.
Well, what have we learned today. That A) Cheez Doodles look like bright orange pieces of geese shit, B) They taste awesome and C) God Bless America.
If you haven’t already got up in disgust about this memo to get a bag of Cheez Doodles, do so now and spread the good word while doing so.