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Entertainment, Somewhat Historial Significance, Women
Mar52009

Pedder-Ass: The Revenge

Well, looks like Jesus Quintana has some competition for the spotlight.

michael jackson Pedder Ass: The Revenge

Its official, as of today Miss Michael Jackson is going to tour again for 10 shows beginning July of this year. That’s right ladies and gentlemen, you heard it here first (most likely not).

Here at TCM, we are going to have a pool running on how many shows will be canceled or how many times MJ will passout/faint.  Be sure to get to your local bookie to place bets.

I wonder if Blanket will be joining him?  Anyways, if you are a die hard MJ fan like we are not, then head on over to this guys website: http://www.michaeljackson.com to get more info.

If you are wondering why I did not put a current picture of MJ up, because I get extremely nauseous every time I see his ghoulish face.


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Food
Mar52009

National Cheez-Doodle Day

That is correct folks, today is National Cheez-Doodle Day. What a great country we live in where we can dedicate a full 24 hours to a snack food. 267 cheesedoodles National Cheez Doodle DayCan countries like Somalia and Afghanistan do this?  Fuck no. The Cheez-Doodle is a goddamn awesome snack. May I remind you it is NOT Cheetos. Don’t get me wrong, Cheetos are good, but they are no Cheez-Doodles.

In lieu of this day, lets break down this florescent orange geese shit look alike snack and see what really makes a cheez doodle, a cheez doodle.

Shape
If it wasn’t bright orange, I’d say we were eating a crunchy but yet tasty piece of geese shit.

Color
The florescent orange is a staple color for these cheesy snacks, but we would like to suggest possibly making each puff a different color.  Or for you douchey pink dolphin lovers, pink cheez doodles….nah, we wouldn’t allow that to happen here. Or, how about for the upcoming St. Patrick’s Day, green cheez doodles?  We would have to also say no to this because its bad enough that our beer gets turned sickly urine green, we don’t need our drunk snack food to be the same color. If you disagree with us, lets pan ahead to March 17, 2009 and your friend asks you what you are eating and drinking:

Friend: Hey, what are you eating and drinking over there?
You: Hey friend, well I am eating geese shit and drinking piss from someone who has gangrene.

Taste
They are friggen awesome, and if you say anything else, we will hunt you down and break your neck.

Well, what have we learned today.  That A) Cheez Doodles look like bright orange pieces of geese shit, B) They taste awesome and C) God Bless America.

If you haven’t already got up in disgust about this memo to get a bag of Cheez Doodles, do so now and spread the good word while doing so.


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Crazy, Pirates, Random
Mar32009

What the fuck!?

Now dolphins are turning metrosexual.  TCM has the photo to prove it.

pink dolphin 1358282c What the fuck!?

It’s actually an albino dolphin.  But to be honest, if me and my fellow maytees were out on the seven sea’s and we saw this, I’d be ordering the canon’s to be fired upon it immediately.  Douchery doesn’t need to be leaked into the ocean.


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Video
Mar12009

Fat America!

America is fat.  No doubt about it.  Here is an awesome video to further prove that claim.

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Movies
Feb282009

At The Movies

At the Movies.  Today’s film is a delightful chapter from the saga of Nick Cage.  Only a man as bountiful as this could endorse bears in such a way.  Breath taking.

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Hockey
Feb282009

The Race For Last…

Here is my second post about the bottom of the barrel Islanders.

I had an interesting thought while reading an article today.  What if the Islanders (30th place) and Thrashers (29th place) were separated by one point come the last game of the season, and the last game for the both of them was against each other?  That would be quite interesting.

We all know who the #1 pick will be next year, need you all be reminded? Granted #2 being defensemen Victor Hedman would not be a bad choice at all, but the teams who are last now need offense, and Mr. Tavares would be quite an addition.

If it was the Islanders and Thrashers going head to head last game, would the Thrashers be easy on the Islanders wanting them to get the win so they have 30th, or do the Islanders go out there and play to lose.  Or, play like they have been all season….ouch.  Or would the 2 teams go out there and play a hell of a game?  Who knows.

Say that one of the teams is noticeably “not playing as they normally would”, would the league discipline the team that “intentionally” lost?  I’d like to think so (If it wasn’t the Islanders of course).  How would it go about the punishment though?  Take them out of the draft lottery so they have no chance at obtaining #1?  Take away a late round pick?  I don’t know, but I hope for the leagues sake that this is never happens in the upcoming seasons.

There is something to think about.  Without further adieu, here is are the last 5 teams in the standing as of 2/28/09.

Div. GP W L OT Pts Streak
26 NW 62 28 33 1 57 Lost 3
27 NE 60 23 28 9 55 Lost 1
28 SE 62 20 30 12 52 Lost 2
29 SE 62 22 34 6 50 Lost 1
30 ATL 61 18 36 7 43 Lost 2

Lets go Islanders!


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Random
Feb282009

Bald Ass In Pianos

Well, apparently one of our sponsors name is Bald Ass In Pianos as seen in this little screenshot.

baldassinpianos Bald Ass In Pianos
Look at the domain name in blue

We thought it was an appropriate post since all we talk about here is nothing but retardedness. Now, if we had any say as to who their spokesperson should be,  without a doubt we would have to go with her:

britney spears bald 400a030207 Bald Ass In Pianos
Brit at the top of her game


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Crazy, Man Moments, Pastime, Somewhat Historial Significance
Feb272009

Memorable Childhood Experience…

This is more of a personal experience than a TCM one.  I figured I would share it with the world…cause you know everyone worldwide checks this site out.

I guess you can trace the experience back to the beginning with my love of pirates.  I’m sure all of you know about Santa Claus coming around your neighborhood on the local fire engine throwing out candy canes or hosing everyone down with eggnog.

It began like any other night.  I just downed a 12er of Ecto-Cooler and was trying to catch my dog and put it in the ghost trap when in the distance I heard the distinctive sound of fire engines.  I knew it was Santa coming around spreading his holiday cheer all over everybody.  Without hesitation I ran out the front door waiting impatiently for the fat man to come around.  A few minutes passed by but I could still hear the sirens coming closer and closer.  A few more minutes passed by and the Ecto-Cooler was beginning to wear off.  Then just as I was about to go back inside thinking it wasn’t our night, turning down the street was Santa and his fire engine.  I was quite excited seeing this, and pooped my pants.  I mean what kid doesn’t want to meet Santa, even if you are Jewish, Muslim or Retarded.

As I looked down the block watching the truck coming down, I noticed it was going quite fast to be handing out goodies, something didn’t look right.  The truck kept getting closer at a high rate of speed.  As it neared I noticed that Santa had been tied up and gagged and the truck was hijacked by a band of pirates!  It was an amazing spectacle.  They sped by waving their swords shouting and babbling chicken.  I first knew they were pirates because they replaced the American flag that was on the truck with a good ol’ jolly roger (see header image on this site).  You could immediately point out the pirate captain because he was standing on Santa like Captain Morgan with sword raised in victory.  I suppose he had a little Captain in him (awkward laugh to self).

Before I could even say or think anything, they were gone.  In amazement, I immediately went into the house, walked over to my parents liquor cabinet, pulled out the rum, broke the top off with my teeth and began to drink.  I was a 10 year old badass.  That my friends, is why I am an abusive alcoholic.

That was word for word, my first talk at my first AA meeting.


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