Sharks rate pretty high on the list of most badass things ever. One reason is well, they are sharks. They were pretty much specifically designed to kill shit. They weren’t designed for baking cakes, flying planes or being bellboy’s at a 5 star hotel. They were designed to completely destroy fish, humans or anything else that gets in their way. Unfortunately for sharks though, there are 5 beasts out there who can easily take them down. Almost as easy as racing a blind one legged man with half a lung. He had you there through the beginning part but his half lung eventually caught up with him and he died. Ok! On to the monsters!

Dunkleosteus

I have spoken about this guy in one long run on sentence before. His nickname is “The Shark Eater”, so right there alone tells us that this dude eats sharks. I wouldn’t say eat sharks, more along the lines of crushing sharks. These dudes didn’t really have teeth, they had massive jaws. Jaws that could crush your 1987 Chevy Celebrity with ease. I figured I would start off with “Dunkie” because sharks were actually a part of his diet when he was alive. I can’t really write a follow up post on 5 Monsters That Could Eat A Dunkleosteus because I would have jack shit to write about. This guy was at the super top of the food chain. He sat up there with his gold plated cane and his oversized Burger King crown and laughed at anyone who tried to challenge him. This most certainly included sharks. When a shark tried to bite into him, the sharks teeth would break due to the armor that encased Dunkie thus rendering the shark helpless making them a nice afternoon snack. But fortunately for us and sharks, the Dunkleosteus went extinct due to his pompous attitude. Creatures of the sea became very unhappy with how Dunkie ruled and eventually was overthrown. He then went into some serious depression, started doing heroin, hanging out with the wrong crowd and eventually disappeared never to be seen again. We assume he is dead.

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