I saw this cat at a Tom Petty concert and immediately thought of Captain Yar. Six years ago Yar rocked a fro that was not as intense as this one, but it was on the same level. I’ve been after Yar to bring back said fro, but to no avail. Oh well.
Anyhow, the fro this son-of-a-bitch rocked made my day when waiting in the beer line for $13 beers.
This series shows us great inventions throughout mankind. Our last piece we showed you the Gamerator, an arcade system with a keg hook up. Simply brilliant.
Well somehow, it seems that beer has made it to the top of the list of greatest inventions again. This time we bring you the Beer Throwing Fridge.
The only downfall of this device is that with each beer you drink, the Beer Throwing Fridge progressively becomes more dangerous. I can see it now, page 15 of the New York Times:
Man dies after being pummeled to death by own fridge
NEW YORK – At about 3pm yesterday, the victim Mike Honcho, purchased what is called the Beer Throwing Fridge. It is a fridge that will dispense and throw you a can of beer across the room. Eager to try it out, he plugged it in and loaded up his favorite brew. Not 100% sure on how to work the device, he began to push buttons on the remote included with the fridge. Little did he realize but he pushed the “reload party” button. This will rapidly disperse beer throughout the room if there are many people around. Unfortunately for Mike, he and his dog were the only ones around. His neighbors said they heard a lot of laughter, a lot of banging, yelling, a loud thud, some barking, then silence. The person who called 911 claimed that Mike was in a fight with an intruder. When the police arrived, they saw the beer dispensing fridge, which was empty, beer cans strewn across the apartment, Mike’s dog licking up beer and Mike laying unconscious on the floor. Mr. Honcho was declared dead at Mt. Sinai Hospital. He was survived by his dog, Pizza. No charges have been filed against the fridge.
Well it has happened ladies and gentlemen. It was only a matter of time, but it happened.
The Gamerator.
Take a moment to study that photo. Looks like a normal arcade system correct? Well, it ain’t. If you will shift your eyes to the crotch area of the system, you will notice a beer tap. Yes, a beer tap. My question is why hasn’t anyone thought of this idea earlier. I mean, putting a keg inside a fully functioning arcade system? Amazing.
As well as the keg tap and video games, this piece of art comes with a 26″ flat panel HDTV, 2 conveniently-placed cup holders to house your beverage while playing, a trackball system and 2 joysticks for head to head drunken pissed off classic video game action. They also made this beast capable of hooking up to your PS3, 360, Wii, etc. as well as loading the machine up with Windows XP so you can “work from home” on those days where just going into work sucks. Which 60% of the time is always 100% of the time.
Oh, for those interested in the actual gaming part, here is a list of all the legitimate games:
TAITO Legends:
Space Invaders, Space Invaders II, Bubble Bobble, Elevator Action, Rastan, New Zealand Story, Plotting(aka Flipull), Jungle Hunt, Operation Wolf, Operation Thunderbolt, Rainbow Islands, Phoenix Colony 7, Electric YoYo, Zoo Keeper, Great Swordsman, Gladiator, Exisus, Plump Pop, Super Qix, Battle Shark, Continental, Circus, Volfied, Ninja Kids, Space Gun, ThunderFox, Tube It, Return of the Invaders, and Tokio.Konami Classics:
Castlevania, Castlevania II, Castlevania III, Contra, Super CMidway:
720 Degrees, Blaster Bubbles, Defender, Defender II, Gauntlet, Joust, Joust 2, Klax, Marble Madness, Paperboy, Rampage, Rampart, Road Blasters, Robotron: 2084, Root Beer Tapper, Satan’s Hollow, Sinistar, Smash TV, SPLAT!, Spy Hunter, Super Sprint, Toobin’, Vindicators.Midway Deluxe:
Mortak Kombat, Mortal Kombat II, Mortal Kombat III, Xybots, NARC, APB, Cyberball 2072, Timber, Total Carnage, Pit Fighter, Wizard of Wor, Xenophobe, Primal Rage, Arch Rivals, Rampage World Tour, Kozmik Krooz’r, Championship Sprint, Hard Drivin’, Wakco, Badlands, Hydro Thunder, Off Road Thunder: Mud, Sweat, ‘N’ Gears, Race Drivin’, San Francisco Rush the Rock: Alcatraz Edition, San Francisco Rush 2049, S.T.U.N. Runner, Super Off Road.
Not gonna lie, pretty stoked for a beer and Mortal Kombat combo.
Get yours today for a low low price of $3,499. Start saving those empties you drunks.
So apparently children in India get drunk a lot. A plus for the pseudo-mullet this guy is rocking.
Because sometimes that’s all you need to get motivated on a Monday morning.
All men (and most dogs) like to poop. We’ve discussed bathroom attendants and bathroom reading in depth so it’s time to explore recreational dumping.
Recreational dumping is a leisure activity much like reading a book or watching TV. It’s when you go to the bathroom, drop trou, and just relax. You can read, you can call or text your friends, or you can just think. The recreation part comes from sitting on the toilet in poo-mode – that is all really. You can poo, but it is not required.
I’ve been a recreational dumper for years. I’ll read on the pot, called some friends and caught up on life (what better place to do that), and have done some heavy thinking as well. At work I do my best thinking when recreational dumping after lunch. The best part of workplace recreational dumping is the fact that you are getting paid to do something you enjoy.
I was talking this topic over with Captain’s Yar, Kirk, and K and to our amazement there are a lot of fellows that enjoy this activity. One of our mates at Up and At Them is huge on recreational dumping as is several followers/commenters on this blog (we know who you are). There are no female recreational dumpers that we know of (thank god) which begs the question – who amongst are followers are man enough to admit that they are a recreational dumper?
Playboy has done a feature on the evolution of boobs. From ‘torpedo’ to the rounder styles of today. I don’t think I have to write much more than I already have.
Check out this gloriousness here.*
*If you want to keep your job, I suggest not opening this link up at work.
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