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Treasure Chest for the Drinking Category


Drinking, Random
Dec212010

Social Media Sobriety Test

AKA, don’t be a douche and go posting on Facebook when you are shit faced computer program. That’s right people, now you can stop your Dad heading to Facebook after a few High Life’s and posting how your farts sound like elephant queef’s. It’s true. The people over at some anti-virus program company decided they would create this program to stop the dumbness that leaks out of your fingers when at your computer, drunk at 2:15 in the morning.

Here’s a short video of how this thing works:

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We all know you have at least 2 friends that do this on the reg. Why don’t you all be a good Santa and buy them this. The last thing you need to know is how many penis’ are drawn on your other friends face via Twitter.

An upside to this program besides blocking your friends from posting via the bottom of that JD bottle, is that you’re not jealous of them when you find out they were drinking with Kat Williams and drawing penis’ on your other friends face until 4am. Think about it. Your excuse the night before as to why you didn’t go out was that you had to stay back and watch The Beautician and the Beast with your girlfriend. Eyes. Check. Ears. Check. Balls. Balls? Nope, no balls.

An upside to this program blocking you from posting drunk on the internet, is that it can’t stop you from drunk dialing your ex-girlfriend from college. “Hey Jenny, it’s Captain Polish. Remember me? No, I’m the one stumbled into your dorm room drunk and naked that one night and threw up all over your roommate’s computer. Well at the time I thought it was your roommate’s computer, but was really you. Yea… Sorry about that.”


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Drinking, Technology, Video Games
Aug132010

Greatest invention ever

Well it has happened ladies and gentlemen. It was only a matter of time, but it happened.

The Gamerator.

gamerator Greatest invention ever

Take a moment to study that photo. Looks like a normal arcade system correct? Well, it ain’t. If you will shift your eyes to the crotch area of the system, you will notice a beer tap. Yes, a beer tap. My question is why hasn’t anyone thought of this idea earlier. I mean, putting a keg inside a fully functioning arcade system? Amazing.

As well as the keg tap and video games, this piece of art comes with a 26″ flat panel HDTV, 2 conveniently-placed cup holders to house your beverage while playing, a trackball system and 2 joysticks for head to head drunken pissed off classic video game action. They also made this beast capable of hooking up to your PS3, 360, Wii, etc. as well as loading the machine up with Windows XP so you can “work from home” on those days where just going into work sucks. Which 60% of the time is always 100% of the time.

Oh, for those interested in the actual gaming part, here is a list of all the legitimate games:

TAITO Legends:
Space Invaders, Space Invaders II, Bubble Bobble, Elevator Action, Rastan, New Zealand Story, Plotting(aka Flipull), Jungle Hunt, Operation Wolf, Operation Thunderbolt, Rainbow Islands, Phoenix Colony 7, Electric YoYo, Zoo Keeper, Great Swordsman, Gladiator, Exisus, Plump Pop, Super Qix, Battle Shark, Continental, Circus, Volfied, Ninja Kids, Space Gun, ThunderFox, Tube It, Return of the Invaders, and Tokio.

Konami Classics:
Castlevania, Castlevania II, Castlevania III, Contra, Super C

Midway:
720 Degrees, Blaster Bubbles, Defender, Defender II, Gauntlet, Joust, Joust 2, Klax, Marble Madness, Paperboy, Rampage, Rampart, Road Blasters, Robotron: 2084, Root Beer Tapper, Satan’s Hollow, Sinistar, Smash TV, SPLAT!, Spy Hunter, Super Sprint, Toobin’, Vindicators.

Midway Deluxe:
Mortak Kombat, Mortal Kombat II, Mortal Kombat III, Xybots, NARC, APB, Cyberball 2072, Timber, Total Carnage, Pit Fighter, Wizard of Wor, Xenophobe, Primal Rage, Arch Rivals, Rampage World Tour, Kozmik Krooz’r, Championship Sprint, Hard Drivin’, Wakco, Badlands, Hydro Thunder, Off Road Thunder: Mud, Sweat, ‘N’ Gears, Race Drivin’, San Francisco Rush the Rock: Alcatraz Edition, San Francisco Rush 2049, S.T.U.N. Runner, Super Off Road.

Not gonna lie, pretty stoked for a beer and Mortal Kombat combo.

Get yours today for a low low price of $3,499. Start saving those empties you drunks.

Is it gay if your friend reaches in to pour a pint at the same time 2 of you are manning the arcade system? Stay tuned to find out.


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Drinking, Photo of the Day
Jul292010

Photo of the Day!

Dave Matthews Band 071710 004 Photo of the Day!

So apparently children in India get drunk a lot. A plus for the pseudo-mullet this guy is rocking.


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Drinking
Jan142010

What Beer Should I Drink?

I’m sure you have entered a 7-11, WaWa, Beer Distributor or wherever and do not know what beer you are in the mood to drink. TCM has come across an extremely helpful flowchart that hopefully will assist in your most disturbing dilemma.

What Should I Drink Beer sm What Beer Should I Drink?

If it’s summer (which obviously it’s not here in the Northern Hemisphere), then look no further at our Top 10 Beers of Summer.

This could save your life from a drunken sober Captain Polish violating you…I seen ‘em!


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Drinking, Man Moments
Oct232009

We’ve All Been There…

…but not as bad as this dude:

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Drinking
Oct12009

Ice Luge? No, the Boob Luge.

If you have never done an Ice Luge then you obviously don’t party to often. For those who don’t know what an ice luge is, it is a block of ice placed on an angle with a crevice carved out in which one person stands at the top and pours alcohol down to another person waiting to drink. Simple really. You see this mostly taking charge at frat houses where some guy will pour too much alcohol down the chute to some waiting girl who is about to get doused all over her white t-shirt and when she does, everyone cheers.

The ice luge has been around for centuries. After the American Declaration of Independence was signed, the founding fathers partied with an ice luge and some local strippers. No joke, look it up. So, it was only a matter of time before someone thought up the idea of drinking alcohol out of boobs. Now we know how Russian babies feel everytime they take a sip out of their mother’s vodka laced titty. ???? ???????????. (Most excellent).

DS23575 img Ice Luge? No, the Boob Luge.

Here is a list of things made of ice we would like to drink alcohol out of:

  • Assault Rifle
  • A mold of the Governator’s arm holding a pitcher.
  • Battle Axe
  • An exact replica of FDR’s cane
  • A life sized Tomahawk missile
  • Vida Guerra’s ass

Let us know if you have any other excellent ice luge ideas.

O, sorry ladies and Captain Kirk, the ice dick is not on that list and probably won’t be. You can find a nice array of ice dildos though. Captain Kirk can show you the way.

Click here to purchase and wish these were the boobs you sucked out of as a baby.


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Drinking, Man Moments
Sep152009

Golf + Beer

If you like golf, beer, and carnage, then you will like this photo:

0913091304 Golf + Beer

You can make up the story behind all of this, but from what I came up with, someone got wasted and flipped a golf cart. This is far cooler than crashing one into a pond. How did this flip? I have no idea, but I do know that the best part is when they pieced the cart back together and turned it in like nothing happened:

0913091317 Golf + Beer

Classic.

Thanks for sending these over Watchinson and Van Gorder.


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Drinking
Aug62009

High Life the choad bottle edition

3795990594 420c3157db m High Life the choad bottle edition

So I’m writing this from inside a beer fridge at the local distributor. If you will look at the photo above not only does High Life come in bottles and cans but also the choad version of a bottle.

Granted High Life is a great tertiary beer but you would not catch my ass drinking out of that bottle. It seriously is the choad version of a regular size bottle. Lady GaGa you got some competition bitch.

Ok its cold as shit in here…time to drink non-choad sized bottles like a real man.


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