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Treasure Chest for the Drinking Category


Drinking, Women
Feb142009

I got to get outta here, pronto. I got a stage five clinger.

As we all know, this day was solely created for stores to make money off of everybody…mostly men, with significant others. Which leaves the question, what will the single folks be doing tonight?

I think the answer is simple…looking for some ass.

AsianWildAss I got to get outta here, pronto. I got a stage five clinger.

Now kids, before you go out to the social clubs later, or whatever it is you do, put this thought in your mind.  Is it worth it? 100% of you will say yes, and I don’t blame you.  Most likely however, you will find someone just like you looking for some play, on the other hand, you might run into that desperate single that is looking for true love on V-Day.  If that is the case, what I can tell you is that you have one corny ass mother fucker on your hands.  It is pretty friggen cliche for someone to go out on Valentines Day looking for true love.  That’s like some doucher wearing a Coldplay t-shirt to an Eminem concert…. O wait, I just caught myself there…before I continue, I am going to point out 3 problems with that past sentence.  First, anyone wearing a Coldplay t-shirt should be shot.  Secondly, anyone attending an Eminem concert, should be drawn and quartered.  And finally, anyone wearing a Coldplay t-shirt to an Eminem concert…well, we will just leave that result up to you.

To be honest, if I was single today I would be going out for sure.  To get ass? No, to get shitfaced.  Not because I’m all depressed about not having a girlfriend, its because I like to get fucked up.  A wise man once told me, and this probably has nothing to do with this post:

“My body is a temple…and I’m gonna get that temple fucked up!”

Take those words into consideration.  Whether you are looking for the opposite sex’s private parts (or the same sex, if you swing that way) or just wanting to get trashed.  Fuck your temple up.

In all reality, I don’t care what you go out and do tonight.  Just don’t die…
Unless I hate you, then go get hit by a horse and buggy.


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Drinking
Feb132009

Games that require drinking

I would like to introduce you all do a drinking game.  We here like to call it Drunk Ball.  Clear your mind of what you think it is, cause its not.

Rules:

  • 2 people per team, 2 teams.
  • Beer pong size table.
  • Each person has an unopened CAN of beer in front of them. <— see the emphasis on can.
  • A coin is flipped to see who goes first.
  • Winning team of the coin flip is on offense, and the losing team….you guessed it, is on the defensive.
  • The offensive team has to throw a ping-pong ball at the opposing teams cans of beer.
  • If they throw and miss, then their partner goes, and if they miss then it goes to the other team.
  • If they throw and hit a can however, then they are to (on first contact with can) open their beer and drink as much as they can until the opposing team retrieves the ball and places it on the table saying, “stop”. Sometimes the team on the defensive can get the ball quickly enough before the person opens their beer.  If that is the case, then the person who threw the ball automatically opens their beer.
  • The offensive team keeps going until they miss a can of beer.
  • The game is over when both players on a team have finished their cans of beer. When you finish you beer, you must turn the can upside down on the table to show that you do not have any beer left.
  • If one person is done on a team, they can still play, but only on the defensive, they are not allowed to throw the ball, only retrieve it.

Those are the basic rules to drunkball. If you like, you can make it full contact…depends on your style. The game can be slow as shit, or done in 2 tries…depends on how manly you can drink your beer.


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