Since every kid these days is pretty much living on Facebook what a better way to teach history than to do so on Facebook. That way these little shitheads will actually pay attention.
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Treasure Chest for the Pastime Category
Aug272010
What happend if WWII occured on Facebook?
Jul122010
50 Photos Of Pure Late 80′s/Early 90′s Bliss
The Captains are big fans of The Chive. If you don’t know about them, check it out. They’ve assembled just what the title of the post says. If you grew up in that particular time frame you’ll more than likely recognize almost everything that’s featured in the article.
Relive the nostalgia here.
Apr162010
D-D-D-D-Do you have it?
A couple summers ago, me and a couple of buddies were sitting around watching old GUTS! matches on the Nickelodeon Channel (Legends of the Hidden Temple, Nick Arcade, Double Dare, awesome, awesome and more awesome) and before the always entertaining Agrocrag, one of my friends said “gimme odds on who wins this thing” and the light bulbs went off in our heads. Here’s how to bet on GUTS!
Step 1
Assign demographics towards the 3 GUTS competitors (black kid, tall girl, white kid etc etc)
Step 2
Find out who will be The House for the first event (everyone takes a turn as The House) and have that person set the odds for the event. The odds follow a Horse betting model, so the odds will be something like: Black Kid 1-1, White kid 3-1, Tall girl 8-1. There is a $3 max bid. As the house, your main goal is to set the odds so that you get action on ALL THREE COMPETITORS. It is of monumental importance you start to develop theories as to who excels at what events. The small white kids are always the best at the jungle gym, any girl is a disaster when it comes to paddling in water etc etc.
Step 3
Mike O’ Malley
Step 4
Take bets.
Step 5
Watch the individual event. Assign winnings.
Step 6
Rotate the house, rinse, repeat.
Step 7
Pause for O’ Malley face.
Step 8
Try to spot Backstreet Boys member A.J. McLean as one of the competitors
It is much, much easier to be watching this on a DVR so that you can pause and give everyone time to assign odds and place bets. Here’s the betting board. Note that Warbucks was up 106 bucks.
Oct202009
Your own personal action figure?
How fucking cool would that be!? You wake up to see your 12 inch self standing on your dresser across the room pointing at your ass telling you to “Wake the fuck up partner”. Most excellent. Then you realize that it’s your mom that’s yelling at you to come downstairs to take out the trash because the garbage men are down the block and you didn’t take the trash out last night so she is waking your ass up to do it this morning. But then you realize you are 27 years old and still taking out your parents trash. Not most excellent.
Anyways, That’s My Face is a website that will perfectly match your face and put it on an action figure or masks or 3D portraits and so fourth.
Out of options for Halloween? Be yourself you creeposaurus! That’s My Face will make a mask out of your face. You know, exactly like Silence of the Lambs, but minus the real skin and blood. The smell of maple syrup and hot dogs may still be there but it’s your face nonetheless.
Oct192009
Choose Your Own Adventure (For Adults)
Captain Kirk awhile back proposed the idea to make the Bible a *choose your own adventure book, to increase its readability. I have to admit, he might have been on to something.
TCM reader, Illz has made his contribution to the series, crafting a story in that style we all loved as kids in a new adult themed way. (“Adult” doesn’t mean it’s highlighting the sexual life of Captain Polish, but it’s definitely not for kids).
What’s most amazing about this is the tone of the story, clearly Illz has done his homework. You can click here to read the intro. I was lucky enough to read the next section(s) and let me tell you, it gets even better.
*Choose Your Own Adventure books were part of every kid’s reading diet in the late 80′s/early 90′s besides their officially titled series their were also a tons of knock offs. This included a Nintendo series and I’ve also even seen an Indiana Jones Choose Your Own Adventure book.
Sep182009
Crossfire
The most intense children’s commercial ever
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Sep102009
Kenner Toys: The True Prince Of Thieves
When I was younger, I loved everything about the Robin Hood Prince of Thieves movie with Kevin Costner. My brother had the cassette single for “Everything I Do, I Do It For You”. I even loved the music video that had Bryan Adams rocking out in Sherwood Forest.
One Christmas my parents bought me a handful of Kenner Toys action figures based on the movie (how many people can claim to have Kevin Costner and Morgan Freeman action figures?) I was also given the toy that was the base of operations for Robin Hood and his so called Merry Men in Sherwood Forest. I was however, profoundly pissed.
This toy was the EXACT same fucking toy my neighbor had for the Ewok Village from Return of The Jedi. They didn’t even change anything besides adding green leaves. They just marketed it as something different 8 years later. What a fucking sham! They must have had warehouses of the originals left over and pulled a fast one on a bunch of kids. It’s the same friggen plastic mold for christ’s sake.
Had I known this before hand, I would have had my parents swipe my neighbors Ewok Village and have them just give me that for Christmas. Or I would have held onto the Sherwood Forest one and unloaded it off on a Star Wars uber fan geek for a hefty price.
Does anyone else get the feeling George Lucas somehow masterminded this entire thing?
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