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Treasure Chest for the Retro Category


Retro
Feb282011

Kickin’ It Old School.

I would like to start a new series here at TCM called, “Kickin’ It Old School.” What is it all about you ask? It is going to be a look into how things were done in a more badass way back in the day. (See what I did there? I rhymed.) Not like today where everyone is a pussy. No. Things were done properly back then.

For the first episode in our series, we will talk about probably one of the most badass things you could possibly do back in the day. Dueling.

duel Kickin It Old School.

In case you’re a retard and don’t know what dueling is, I will give you a quick explanation. Dueling is when 2 people, most of the time men, have a disagreement or one made the other look bad and must be settled in a proper form. A prearrangement is made at a certain time and location. Once the time has arrived, each man holds a pistol standing back to back. They then walk 10 paces in opposite directions, turning around the shooting the other. Who ever dies or cries like a baby, loses. Simple but epic.

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Retro, Wrestling
Aug162010

Mr. Perfect’s perfectness

If you read my stuff, you know I have a soft spot for old school wrestling. It was just what you got subjected to when you had an older brother and friends. You learned at a young age what it was like to Bushwhack. You learned how to do the figure-four leg lock. You learned about the hurricane splash, how to jump off the top ropes/couch, and how to also work the crowd. You also learned that Curt Hennig truly was perfect.

He was. Here are a series of clips Mr. Perfect did to show just how perfect he is:

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and another…

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Random, Retro
Nov242009

The Wolf Shirt (Version 2.0)

A few months back, Captain Polish showed us the beauty of the white trash clothing staple, the glorious shirt with the 3 wolves howling at the full moon.

You know the one I’m talking about.

Wolf Shirt The Wolf Shirt (Version 2.0)

Now Geek Chic Daily is offering a classier alternative. You can have Michael J. Fox from the 80′s cult classic movie, Teen Wolf howling at the moon.

TeenWolfMoonForWeb The Wolf Shirt (Version 2.0)

God bless America. Hopefully, another version with Jason Bateman from Teen Wolf Too is already in production.

Thanks to reader, Malcom for sending this our way.


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Retro, Television
Nov182009

Random Thoughts Of The Day

I never understood why in the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles cartoon all 4 of the ninja turtles wore eye bands. It made it seem like they we’re trying to hide their identity like when Robin (of Batman fame) wears one. I’m not sure if they realized this, but their wasn’t 4 other huge ass mutated humanesque turtles running around NYC that they could have gotten mistaken for.

In the live action movie, when Raphael goes up into the streets at the beginning he’s in a full trench coat with his hat pulled way down low. This is no doubt to shield his giant turtle persona from an unsuspecting and (genetic freak weary) general population. In the cartoon it just doesn’t make sense, everyone can clearly see they are giant fucking turtles, it’s not like if they didn’t wear the eye bands that they would be confused for those other ninja turtles.

What gives?

teenage mutant ninja turtles 1987 Random Thoughts Of The Day


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Pastime, Retro
Sep102009

Kenner Toys: The True Prince Of Thieves

When I was younger, I loved everything about the Robin Hood Prince of Thieves movie with Kevin Costner. My brother had the cassette single for “Everything I Do, I Do It For You”. I even loved the music video that had Bryan Adams rocking out in Sherwood Forest.

One Christmas my parents bought me a handful of Kenner Toys action figures based on the movie (how many people can claim to have Kevin Costner and Morgan Freeman action figures?) I was also given the toy that was the base of operations for Robin Hood and his so called Merry Men in Sherwood Forest. I was however, profoundly pissed.

This toy was the EXACT same fucking toy my neighbor had for the Ewok Village from Return of The Jedi. They didn’t even change anything besides adding green leaves. They just marketed it as something different 8 years later. What a fucking sham! They must have had warehouses of the originals left over and pulled a fast one on a bunch of kids. It’s the same friggen plastic mold for christ’s sake.

ewokvillage Kenner Toys: The True Prince Of Thieves

Had I known this before hand, I would have had my parents swipe my neighbors Ewok Village and have them just give me that for Christmas. Or I would have held onto the Sherwood Forest one and unloaded it off on a Star Wars uber fan geek for a hefty price.

Does anyone else get the feeling George Lucas somehow masterminded this entire thing?


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Retro
Jul282009

Does Anyone Else Remember This Shitty Gift?

When I was a youth, there was a gift (I got more than once) that can easily top anyone’s shit list. I’ve been scouring the internet for years trying to find it, to no avail. Most people I ask don’t recall it either.

It’s a jacket.

No not one of those sweet ass levi denim jackets parents are known to give kids in the early 1990′s this so much better (worse). It’s a really, really cheap, plastic, white “windbreaker” that comes with a dozen colorful markers. The idea is you get to draw whacky shit and color in your jacket, than show it off to the other kids on the playground who don’t have one and subsequently get beat up.

I’m not even going to get into what a horrible idea for a product this is. I couldn’t draw, plus I was always at the mercy of other patrons of my Birthdays to let them draw all over it. Basically it was always a bunch of squiggley fucking lines with the phrase “cool!” written over it.  I even wore it out in public a few times.

If anyone has any idea what this atrocity is called or has a picture whether it’s off the internet or a picture of themselves with one, please leave us a comment. I can’t find proof that this exists anywhere and I’m starting to question by mental stability.

If were lucky, someone will make a movie about it


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Retro
Jul232009

Public Service Announcement

For all those who don’t know and would like to have their childhood memories enhanced, the voice of Shredder from the original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles cartoon was done by Uncle Phil (James Avery) of Fresh Prince fame. That’s right, Judge Philip Banks was slicing up ninja turtles through the justice system of ass kicking. Don’t believe me:

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your welcome.


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