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Treasure Chest for the Football Category


Football
Feb52010

Super Bowl Prediction

This year’s Super Bowl is going to be pimp. You have Peyton Manning vs. Drew Brees – amazing offense vs. equally amazing offense. One thing is for certain, there will not be a lack of points scored.

This my friends could be a Super Bowl for the ages. This is the one you’ll tell you kids about some day and tell them where you were when Pierre Garcon or Pierre Thomas (whichever Frenchman you like) scored big.

cheerleaders saints Super Bowl Prediction

Regardless of the score of the game, the real winner is you. But let’s see who will win by looking at some other stats:

Super Bowl is on the fast track to becoming the next federal holiday. Soon business and schools will be closed to accommodate for the tardiness and absenteeism this festive game brings with it. Schools in New Orleans are not open Monday February 8th, but schools in Indianapolis will only have a two hour delay. Suck it. Winner: New Orleans

New Orleans entire community is rallying around the Saints. Their emergence after post-Katrina has been a huge lift for the city. In Indianapolis, people love the Colts. Simply put. While both cities love their teams, the Saints are more ingrained into the fabric of New Orleans than those sluts the Colts (who moved in from Baltimore). Winner: New Orleans

I have no clue what Indianapolis serves as its main dish, but have you ever tasted creole? I could eat gumbo and crawfish every day of my life if need be. Winner: New Orleans

Saints Cheerleaders vs. Colts Cheerleaders. Winner: New Orleans

The party scene in Indianapolis is probably pretty solid. They have some bars, clubs, a good flock of hot girls, etc. It’s a town where you can have fun. I was in New Orleans two years ago. On a Tuesday in September Bourbon Street was packed wall to wall with girls flashing anybody they saw. Wow. Winner: New Orleans

Every media junket has decided to ask the Saints how they are going to deal with Peyton Manning and his awesomeness for the past 10 days or so. Can you imagine being asked the same question for 10 straight days? Wouldn’t that rile you up and make you go nuts? The same thing happened to Texas in 2006 when they ended up whooping the favored USC to win the coveted BCS bowl game. History repeats. Winner: New Orleans

If you wanted a sports synopsis of the game, ESPN does a solid job. They have dudes who talk sports every day and get paid for it. Amazing. This is the best we can do rating some of the other intangibles. When all said and done, New Orleans seems prepared to win and have the wildest party ever conceived on the face of the earth.

Enjoy the bean dip, beer, chicken wings, and nachos. You’re in for one helluva game.


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Football, Sports
Oct172009

Pick of the Week

This weeks football match ups are the complete opposite in terms of excitement than last weeks. Giants/Saints, Vikings/Ravens, Bears/Falcons, Broncos/Chargers. And then there will be the blowouts. The Eagles will decimate the Raiders and the Jets well, watch out Buffalo. Rex Ryan lit a fire under the Jets D and you are going to be the unfortunate first team to have your heads ripped off at the Meadowlands.  Literally. Jets 38, Buffalo 9.

Pick of the week: Jets -9.5

Pick of the week record: 3-1

Side Note: Obama, you are now more played than “Who Lets The Dogs Out?” the summer it was released. This is not a good thing. Making an ESPN announcement about Hispanic heritage right before the Jets kickoff on MNF? Isn’t it about time you started being a president rather than a TV personality? Or have unemployment, the dollar, healthcare & financial reform, and the deficit become to unattainable?


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Football, Lingerie Football League, Sports
Oct82009

Lets Talk Football!

A lot of last week’s pick was based on the amazing Majesty QB straight out of Buffalo. This blinded us to the fact that the Bills are still a horrendous team, who fired their offensive coordinator a week before the season started. Might as well bet against them for the rest of the season as they continue to lose the spread and game. Glad we are Jets and 49ers fans. There’s only so much depression that can be taken while rooting for the Mets all summer.

It has been discovered that Long Island Hempstead politicians not only want to rid themselves of the Islanders, they also don’t want any new team to enter, even if its a hot female team dressed in lingerie. The NY Majesty have been declined the opportunity to play at Nassau Coliseum, following a simmering brawl between Charles Wang (owner of the Islanders) and Nassau County KUNT Murray and other Hempstead politicians about the transformation of the Nassau Coliseum site and surrounding area into a modern 24/7 suburban center. And reminder to our readers, its not that he wants a new one – Nassau Coliseum is a piece of garbage (sorry Yar) – they NEED a new place to play.

l d3dc22c7d1e9455d9f954b2110d273eb Lets Talk Football!

So the NY Majesty now have to play all four of their games on the road. This means NY’ers dont really have a team. But hey…. is anyone really rooting for a team anyway? TCM is just excited to watch hot chicks wearing almost nothing beating each other for the small amount of revenue generated from gate receipts. If we had little Captains, we’d take them to the game.

This weeks pick: Colts -3.5. We’re just not a believer in “must win” games, accept that the Titans are not the same team as last year.

Pick of the week: 2-1


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Football, Lingerie Football League, Sports
Oct32009

Krystal Gray of the NY Majesty and the pick of the week

In honor of this weeks pick, the Bills @ -1.5, let us introduce you to Buffalo’s own incredible Krystal Gray, quarterback for the Nplayer01 Krystal Gray of the NY Majesty and the pick of the weekY Majesty.

4a050bcff2cce Krystal Gray of the NY Majesty and the pick of the weekTCM is proud to say a NY native will be play calling this up and coming team, given that she stepped up after Melissa Teixera resigned back to New England because she couldn’t take the heat in NY.  Welcome Krystal. This is the first of many posts to come.

Gray’s quote of the day: ” It comes down to whether you are a pipe or a diamond. Because pipes burst under pressure. Diamonds are formed under pressure.”


krystalbed Krystal Gray of the NY Majesty and the pick of the week

TCM’s pick last week: Bears -2

This weeks pick: Bills -1.5

TCM Pick of the week: 2-0


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Football, Sports
Sep242009

JETS!, Cheerleaders, and this week’s pick of the week

Why do cameras never show cheerleaders? The only chance you get is when the cameras phase into commercials. And what comes up as the first commercial? Peyton Manning letting us know we need HD TV’s so we can see cheerleaders in better definition. Sony should play a commercial that has Peyton saying we need better TV’s to be prepared for the Lingerie Football League. That would sell me.

jets cheerleaders JETS!, Cheerleaders, and this weeks pick of the week

So Jets D! Who can stop them? It wont be a QB or a team. Only way I see it, Bart Scott is blinded by a fan in New Orleans through some ultra powerful lens, he momentarily sees spots and turns into Revis causing them to be knocked out for two quarters. But that’ll have to wait until next weeks column when we preview the leagues best offense vs the leagues best defense.

The Titans 0-2 record doesn’t show what the team has done. Collins and his offense have been pretty good. But good enough to score the first TD against the Jets D of the season? This Sunday we’ll find out. While I’d love to put money on the Jets, its hard to see the Titans going 0-3, and if they are 0-3 it’ll be a close game. A few field goals may be all that’s needed to win this low scoring battle. Plus rumors are out that Sanchez’s knee is hurt, so Id steer clear and just root for the team in green.

This week’s pick: Bears -2. Have you seen the Seahawks? And they may be without Hasslebeck, which drops them to scoring no more than 10 points. Even a bad Cutler can drive for 13 points in 4 quarters.

Honorable mention: Lions at +6.5. Yes. The battle of two awful teams. Lions/Redskins. Can one outscore the other by a touchdown? I doubt it. But I also wont put money on a team that hasn’t won since Captain Yar had his balls removed. If anyone’s wondering, that was a long time ago.

Last week’s pick Jets +4:

Captain Kirk: 1-0


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Football, Video
Sep222009

Snoop Dogg Is Cooler Than You

Granted most of you already know this. For those of you that don’t, consider this a reality check. This short video is from opening night of the NFL season at Pittsburgh. Filmed and submitted to us by reader, TC.

Get the Flash Player to see this content.

To answer your question, yes we plan on becoming the next Perez Hilton.


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Football, Sports
Sep182009

J-E-T-S!!

Get excited! Get Pumped! Go and gamble! TCM’s lock of the week. Jets (+4) over the Pats. They are craving  NE blood, for retaking the AFC East. They have a QB ready to take NY and a defense preparing to plow Brady so hard he wont be able to fuck Giselle for a week. A TE in Keller who’s one of the most underrated and a RB (Leon) overshadowed in the league because AP is  not human. And I haven’t even mentioned the O-Line. It’s been 40 years since our last super bowl and this team is hungry for a run. Sunday, 1:00 – which also happens to be the Jewish New Year. Coindence? I think not. This will be a good start to the new year.

tom brady 300x300 J E T S!!


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Football
Apr162009

John Madden…

Football fans, you no longer have to hear the retardoness that flows out of this man’s mouth anymore. As of today, John Madden is retiring from broadcasting football. To send him off, lets look at some of his top quotes from over the years:

“Hey, the offensive linemen are the biggest guys on the field, they’re bigger than everybody else, and that’s what makes them the biggest guys on the field.”

“When your arm gets hit, the ball is not going to go where you want it to.”

“I think the team that wins the battle of the turnovers, will PROBABLY win this game”

“Here’s a guy who when he runs, he moves faster.”

“It reminds me of predators in the wild. Do you ever watch that show where the lion chases his prey?”

“A fumble is a fumble when he fumbles, and that My Sexy Little Pixie was a fumble!”

I wonder if he is going to do infomercials now. Let’s see what that would look like.

If you click this link you will probably be taken to another page that might have the full story on John Madden’s retirement.


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