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Treasure Chest for the Sports Category


Oct92009

Watch your nuts!

If you missed the Dodgers/Cardinals game last night, you missed one helluva game. It was a classic pitchers duel until the bottom of the 9th inning when the circus came into town. With two outs, James Loney hit a routine liner to Matt Holliday for what would have, and probably should have, been the last out of the game. Then all hilarity ensured:

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Yep. That’s right. Holliday got hit with the ball in his package. If you want a good laugh, try playing this in super slow-motion and look at his face. Sure he seems remorseful in his post game interview, but it’s probably a good combination of remorse and embarrassment for getting hit in the nuts and losing the game for your team.

Adam Wainright blamed it on the white towels Dodgers fans were waving around all game. I got news for you Wainright, don’t you think that probably had an impact on your pitching performance too? Blaming a loss on towel waving fans is a new low even in the modern, classless sports world.

As for the rest of the series, it’s still going to be a tough one to pull out for either team. But at least the Dodgers hit Holliday and the Cardinals where it hurts the most.



Oct82009

Lets Talk Football!

A lot of last week’s pick was based on the amazing Majesty QB straight out of Buffalo. This blinded us to the fact that the Bills are still a horrendous team, who fired their offensive coordinator a week before the season started. Might as well bet against them for the rest of the season as they continue to lose the spread and game. Glad we are Jets and 49ers fans. There’s only so much depression that can be taken while rooting for the Mets all summer.

It has been discovered that Long Island Hempstead politicians not only want to rid themselves of the Islanders, they also don’t want any new team to enter, even if its a hot female team dressed in lingerie. The NY Majesty have been declined the opportunity to play at Nassau Coliseum, following a simmering brawl between Charles Wang (owner of the Islanders) and Nassau County KUNT Murray and other Hempstead politicians about the transformation of the Nassau Coliseum site and surrounding area into a modern 24/7 suburban center. And reminder to our readers, its not that he wants a new one – Nassau Coliseum is a piece of garbage (sorry Yar) – they NEED a new place to play.

l d3dc22c7d1e9455d9f954b2110d273eb Lets Talk Football!

So the NY Majesty now have to play all four of their games on the road. This means NY’ers dont really have a team. But hey…. is anyone really rooting for a team anyway? TCM is just excited to watch hot chicks wearing almost nothing beating each other for the small amount of revenue generated from gate receipts. If we had little Captains, we’d take them to the game.

This weeks pick: Colts -3.5. We’re just not a believer in “must win” games, accept that the Titans are not the same team as last year.

Pick of the week: 2-1



Oct62009

MLB Playoff Preview and Round 1 Predictions

I haven’t really written much about one thing I love in life: baseball. The main reason is that we wanted to keep it to humor on the web site, but since Yar and Kirk have discussed proper hockey attire and drop predictions on the Jets, I figured, why not do a preview on the playoffs.

Don’t get me wrong, there is a lot of humor in baseball. Little known facts like Doc Ellis throwing a no-hitter on LSD always make me laugh. What also is making me laugh (a bit impatiently) is how much the beginning of football takes away from the Fall Classic. I’m a diehard baseball fan and I found myself more excited about the beginning of football than the end of the regular season when the pennant races heat up. Well, maybe this year the lack of playoff races ruined the excitement, but one thing is for sure, this year’s playoffs will have plenty of it.

The American League
The American League continues to be the dominant league. I used to always blame it on the DH and the fact that there’s less teams in the league which means better players on each team (think economics), but the writing is on the wall: whatever it is, this league is just plain better. The teams steal more bags, hit more home runs, and have better starting pitching. Plus, because of that stupid All-Star game rule, now has home field advantage.

Boston Red Sox vs. Anaheim Angels
Both teams cruised into the playoffs leading to a disappointing stretch run for many fans. The Red Sox have the experience, the better head-to-head regular season record, and complete postseason ownership of the Angels. Although favored, the Red Sox have one Achilles heal – they’re playing against one determined team.

The Angels lost Nick Adenhardt, their young, ace-in-the-hole, recently promoted starting pitcher within the first week of the season. He got into a car accident in Orange County and the team had a hard stretch to recover. They did though with a vengence playing the season in his honor. I’m not going to get all blubbery on you, but when you have a team that really has something to play for, records and the past go out the door. Plus they have Mike Scioscia – the Bill Belichick of baseball. The odds are now evenly stacked.
TCM’s prediction: A close series, but the Angels in 5.

Minnesota Twins vs. New York Yankees
Although Minnesota beat Detroit in that pivotal 163rd play-in game, it never needed to happen. The Yankees are going to bend them over and throttle them. Easily the best team in baseball, the Yankees will have no problem cruising in the first round. If they lose, I, along with the entire baseball world, will be shocked.

Another reason they’ll win is because of the fatigue Minnesota will experience tomorrow. One day is not enough to prepare. Plus, being on an emotional rollercoaster to get into the playoffs isn’t the best way to kick things off. Minnesota’s streak and good luck over the past month is no match for the Yankees. In case you’re wondering, no I’m not a Yankees fan, but I am smart enough to know a good team when I see it.
TCM’s prediction: Total domination by the Yankees in 3.

National League:
The National League is the weaker league this year, but has great representation from each Division including the Wild Card. Each teams brand of baseball is so different any of them can win. This league is really a toss up at the moment.

Colorado Rockies vs. Philadelphia Phillies
The Rockies rocked out the entire 2nd half to be in this position. They have good hitting, decent pitching, and a mediocre bullpen at best, but they have a team that’s still capable of winning. They had a couple of streaks this season that would make a laundrymat attendant blush. The only problem is, they’re not on one heading into the postseason and based on their past history, that means trouble.

The Phillies have the bats and the starting pitching to match up with any team in the NL or AL for that matter, but the bullpen, especially Lidge, is a big question. If they can rock the Rockies starters, which shouldn’t be a problem given home field advantage in round one, it’ll remain sunny in Philadelphia.
TCM’s prediction: Phillies use their small park to their advantage and take it in 4.

St. Louis Cardinals vs. Los Angelos Dodgers
St. Louis has the best 1-2 punch in Carpenter and Wainright, they have the best hitter in Pujols, and they have one of the best managers in LaRussa. They are also playing the Dodgers and they have owned them for what it seems like decades. The only thing that is suspect is their bullpen due to lack of postseason experience. It’s a small thing, but it may come back to haunt them.

The Dodgers look like a used car lot with all of their spare parts. Torre, Ramirez, Blake, Belliard, Loretta, Thome, and Ausmus are all proven winners with postseason experience. Mix them with a young core of Either, Kemp, Martin, Loney, and Kershaw, and I like what I see. I think this is the ’97 Marlins reborn with a good mix of youth and age. With Torre at the helm, I think they’re going to be OK in a very long series.
TCM’s prediction: Dodgers matchup’s outwit the Cards in 5.

To quote Samuel L. – “hold on to your butts.”



Oct32009

Krystal Gray of the NY Majesty and the pick of the week

In honor of this weeks pick, the Bills @ -1.5, let us introduce you to Buffalo’s own incredible Krystal Gray, quarterback for the Nplayer01 Krystal Gray of the NY Majesty and the pick of the weekY Majesty.

4a050bcff2cce Krystal Gray of the NY Majesty and the pick of the weekTCM is proud to say a NY native will be play calling this up and coming team, given that she stepped up after Melissa Teixera resigned back to New England because she couldn’t take the heat in NY.  Welcome Krystal. This is the first of many posts to come.

Gray’s quote of the day: ” It comes down to whether you are a pipe or a diamond. Because pipes burst under pressure. Diamonds are formed under pressure.”


krystalbed Krystal Gray of the NY Majesty and the pick of the week

TCM’s pick last week: Bears -2

This weeks pick: Bills -1.5

TCM Pick of the week: 2-0



Sep292009

Let’s Go Hiking!

I went hiking this past weekend. I don’t know why, but I started this a few years ago and it’s addicting. I typically climb high peaks and marvel at the awesome landscape and what not. Yeah, it sounds rather corny, but try it yourself. You might like it.

So after getting up at the crack ass of dawn, picking up Captain Flintheart, Steveo, and Fez, we headed for the hills. The first hour or so was uneventful. You know the drill: walking up a fucking steep hill, sweating your ass off, and hating life. Then it happened. We met some people.

The first group was from St. Lawrence University. Two guys were hiking together and we mistook them for lovers because they both sported high socks until we found out they were with four women who were wearing spandex (one of four was good looking). These folks informed it was “peak week” and that we will probably see more people from their college on the trails. Fine. OK. Whatever.

We continued our trek until we came to this giant wall that is straight out of the Old Testament:

whiteface1 Lets Go Hiking!

It took a bit to figure out how to tackle this, but after watching several Canadians attempt it and fail, we eventually we figured it out and on we went. The Canadians by the way spoke English and French intermittently which was intense.

Twenty minutes later we reached the top of this mountain and it was crowded with hikers who we talked with along the way and other people who actually drove up the mountain! Who does that! Well, the only good thing about these people that drove up was that they looked crazy as shit.

Exhibit A – Random Indian Family Giving me the Death Stare:

whiteface2 Lets Go Hiking!

Exhibit B – Random Guy with Man Fro Pony Tail and Matching Jorts

whiteface3 Lets Go Hiking!

As I took all of this in (the crazy people, not the mountainous landscapes), I started questioning which was better: all the random people I came across or the actual views from the top? I can’t decide anymore. Good scenery is always nice, but it’s not everyday I have the chance to see crazy people.

Well, here’s a pic of Lake Placid. You decide which is better.

whiteface4 Lets Go Hiking!

It was still a pretty phenomenal day regardless. The walk down was smooth and uneventful, food at A&W’s was amazing, and the Nightmare River Band rocked the Lark Tavern at night. That’s a quality fall Saturday.

Side note: The gentleman with the hat on in both pics above is Captain Flintheart (we needed a diversion to grab these photos without looking too crazy). The Captain’s will more than likely begin popping up into posts here and there. Look for this and many more new random things to come as the Meeting of the Minds nears!



Sep262009

Lingerie Football League Trailer – Get Excited

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Sep242009

JETS!, Cheerleaders, and this week’s pick of the week

Why do cameras never show cheerleaders? The only chance you get is when the cameras phase into commercials. And what comes up as the first commercial? Peyton Manning letting us know we need HD TV’s so we can see cheerleaders in better definition. Sony should play a commercial that has Peyton saying we need better TV’s to be prepared for the Lingerie Football League. That would sell me.

jets cheerleaders JETS!, Cheerleaders, and this weeks pick of the week

So Jets D! Who can stop them? It wont be a QB or a team. Only way I see it, Bart Scott is blinded by a fan in New Orleans through some ultra powerful lens, he momentarily sees spots and turns into Revis causing them to be knocked out for two quarters. But that’ll have to wait until next weeks column when we preview the leagues best offense vs the leagues best defense.

The Titans 0-2 record doesn’t show what the team has done. Collins and his offense have been pretty good. But good enough to score the first TD against the Jets D of the season? This Sunday we’ll find out. While I’d love to put money on the Jets, its hard to see the Titans going 0-3, and if they are 0-3 it’ll be a close game. A few field goals may be all that’s needed to win this low scoring battle. Plus rumors are out that Sanchez’s knee is hurt, so Id steer clear and just root for the team in green.

This week’s pick: Bears -2. Have you seen the Seahawks? And they may be without Hasslebeck, which drops them to scoring no more than 10 points. Even a bad Cutler can drive for 13 points in 4 quarters.

Honorable mention: Lions at +6.5. Yes. The battle of two awful teams. Lions/Redskins. Can one outscore the other by a touchdown? I doubt it. But I also wont put money on a team that hasn’t won since Captain Yar had his balls removed. If anyone’s wondering, that was a long time ago.

Last week’s pick Jets +4:

Captain Kirk: 1-0



Sep222009

Snoop Dogg Is Cooler Than You

Granted most of you already know this. For those of you that don’t, consider this a reality check. This short video is from opening night of the NFL season at Pittsburgh. Filmed and submitted to us by reader, TC.

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To answer your question, yes we plan on becoming the next Perez Hilton.


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