I don’t think it is a surprise that Snooki has the most quotes on this list.
#10 – Snooki
“I got kicked out of Chili’s last time I was here. I had too many of these, and I got up on the bar and knocked over all the bottles of Chili’s liquor. They kicked me out for two days, until they realized who I was and brought me back. It was Sunday Funday. Where you say, ‘It’s Sunday, I’m going to get drunk.’ Is today Sunday?”
Most of you reading this have never heard of the movie, Out Of The Past and are wondering why the hell I’m doing a list of the top ten quotes from it. That’s a fair a question. 1947′s Out Of The Past, is one of the definitive Film Noirs. Don’t know what that means? Look that shit up. A favorite of Flintheart, it is considered to be the greatest B-Movie ever made. I’ll spare you the majority of the details, but pot head and certified badass, Robert Mitchum stars as Jeff Bailey, a private detective hired to find shady business mogul Whit Sterling’s (Kirk Douglas) woman Kathie. It appears that Kathie unloaded her gun on Whit and fled the country with his cash. Mostly told through flashbacks, what follows is a series of double crosses, murders and revenge, anchored by some of the most misogynistic one liners ever uttered in a film. What makes the film though, is Mitchum as the laconic loaner, clearly stoned and never breaking a sweat or his stride no matter what.
#10
Kathie Moffat: I’m sorry he didn’t die.
Jeff Bailey: Give him time.
#9
Kathie Moffat: Don’t you see you’ve only me to make deals with now?
Jeff Bailey: Build my gallows high, baby.
#8
Jeff Bailey: Let’s go down to the bar. You can cool off while we try to impress each other.
#7
Whit Sterling: You’re gonna take the rap and play along. You’re gonna make every exact move I tell you. If you don’t, I’ll kill you. And I’ll promise you one thing: it won’t be quick. I’ll break you first. You won’t be able to answer a telephone or open a door without thinking, ‘This is it.’ And it when it comes, it still won’t be quick. And it won’t be pretty. You can take your choice.
#6
[Petey and Jeff watch Meta walking away]
Petey: Nice!
Jeff Bailey: Awfully cold around the heart.
#5
Kathie Moffat: Oh, Jeff, I don’t want to die!
Jeff Bailey: Neither do I, baby, but if I have to I’m gonna die last.
#4
Ann Miller: She can’t be all bad. No one is.
Jeff Bailey Well, she comes the closest.
#3
Kathie Moffat: Oh Jeff, you ought to have killed me for what I did a moment ago.
Jeff Bailey: [dryly] There’s time.
#2
Jeff Bailey: You can never help anything, can you? You’re like a leaf that the wind blows from one gutter to another.
#1
Kathie Moffat: Can’t you even feel sorry for me?
Jeff Bailey: I’m not going to try.
Kathie Moffat: Jeff…
Jeff Bailey: Just get out, will you? I have to sleep in this room.
So summer is officially upon us. What better thing to do than going outside and doing stuff in this glorious, glorious weather. O wait, I know…going outside and doing stuff in this glorious, glorious weather, naked. You must be thinking, “Yar…your fucking crazy”. I say, “Yes, yes I am”.
So if any of you hooligans decide to do naked stuff this summer, take this list into account. It could save your goddamn life.
#10 – Attend a BBQ naked
When you think of summer, one of the activities you think of are going to BBQ’s. They are good times. Beer, good food, friends, games, all good fun. Next time you get invited to a BBQ why don’t you spice things up a bit. Show up naked. Not only will you surprise the shit out of the guests, but you for sure will be the talk of the party. “Hey, can you hand me a wiener…well done.”
#10 – Joel Zumaya
Zumaya burst onto the scene in 2006, notably coming out of the Tigers bullpen to Hendrix’s ”Voodoo Child”. Many were enthralled with Zumaya because he could hit triple digits with his fastball, but Zumaya was infamously sidelined during the 2006 ALCS with a sore wrist. Tigers GM Dave Dombrowski confirmed the injury came from playing Guitar Hero II
Have you ever revisited something you watched as a kid and saw it in a completely different light as an adult? Ghostbusters certainly qualifies, as I was too young to understand Bill Murray’s beautifully timed sarcasm (I also seemed to think it was a scary movie as a child). In other cases sex jokes would go right over my head as a youth and drug references as well. Now when I think about all those different characters on tv shows that I experienced growing up I wonder what the fuck they were on. Hell, I’ve watched the TV show the Monkees recently and it’s like a Spice Girls group for different stoner personalities.
Apprarently, I’m not alone. The website guyism also had these drug addled thoughts since they have come up with a list of the Top Ten Children’s Characters Who Were Definitely On Drugs.
I’ll give you one guess….
Thanks to O’Brien for hooking us up.
Who would have thought that someone who spells their name with a ”$” instead of the letter “S” would have a less than stellar grasp on the English language? The last one I can remember was, Ma$e and boy who can forget the time he won the Pulitzer Prize?
TCM didn’t compile this list, but we wish we did. (Although, that would mean having to listen to all of the songs or at the very least read the lyrics to the entire album…and I wouldn’t wish that upon my worst enemy).
Top 10 movie’s and their sequels is something I have been cooking up for sometime now. It is a carefully constructed list with nothing left out…except Godfather & Godfather II. I left those out on purpose because A) it is my list, B) I have never seen any Godfathers and C) I do not want to see any Godfathers. If any of you turds comment below about how that is blasphemy, I will hunt you down and bite your dick off.
Ok, well here is my list, enjoy it, don’t enjoy it…that is entirely up to you pooheads.
#10 – Bourne Identity & Bourne Supremacy
Matt Damon can be considered a respectable actor in my book only because he was in my favorite movie of all time, EuroTrip. Granted he was only in it for like 5 minutes and sang a sweet song about some kid named Scott not knowing that he was fucking his girlfriend, he most definitely stole the show. But we aren’t here to talk about EuroTrip or Matt Damon’s penis, we are here to discuss the super badass Bourne Identity and Supremacy. I’d like to first say that the actress they chose to be Jason Bourne’s “girlfriend” was highly questionable. They could have most certainly chosen a much hotter chick. In the Bourne Supremacy, the writers must have realized this and quickly killed her off, which a reason why this movie is on this list. O yea, and because no one in the world can kick Jason Bourne’s ass. Except maybe Mr. T.
A top ten not done by the captains? Crazy, I know. But Cinemassacre has already brought us The Top 20 Urkel Moments and now they’ve given us The Top Ten Baddest Bad Guys. I gotta couple of gripes (where the fuck is Darth Vader?) but for the most part, I agree. The number once choice makes it reason alone for us to show you this video.
