Ah, remember the early 90′s? I use to rock this exact shirt but a Colorado Rockies variation of it.
Side Note: I wonder if Kris Kross ever sued Warner Brothers for blatant copyright infringement?
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Treasure Chest for the Underrated Category
Apr22010
The Top 5 Pitchers in Little League Baseball: Championship Series
One of the greatest, most underrated video games of all time has to be Little League Baseball: Championship Series for the original Nintendo. Incredibly simple in it’s design, the game can be played right off the rip with stock rosters. But the beauty of the game is the depth at which it can suck you in to. Tinkering and tinkering with the rosters is the only way to maximize your talent, as there our hidden gems amongst the many first-named-only players.
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Without further adieu, your top 5 list…
1. Saul (New York)
Many of Saul’s detractors will say his mind-boggling stats are a product of the defense behind him, but you can’t overlook his absolutely ridiculous k/bb ratio of 37/3 in 18 innings pitched. He finished the tournament with a final line that looks fake: 18 ip, 1 er, 2 hits, 37 k, 3 bb. His fastball comes in at a major league equivalent of 97 mph, and his curve ball makes other 12 year olds shit their pants (Just ask Floyd). Saul received a full ride scholarship for baseball at LSU, only to shred his shoulder and never pitch again.
2. Sid (California)
Sid Vicious earned his nickname by pitching an entire game after getting hit in the mouth with a line drive that knocked out 3 of his teeth. This caused many in the stands to wonder why his parents would let him continue to pitch, which in turn caused many in the stands to wonder where his parents were. Sid never allowed a base runner to get passed second-base the entire tournament, but his penchant to give up the long ball was always his weakness, allowing 3 home-runs in California’s thrilling loss to Texas in the semi-finals. Sid now runs a pitching academy…and is still searching for his parents.
3. Joseph (Texas)
Experts used to say that Joseph had so much ‘late action’ on his fastball that he could have opened up a night club. Born into the bloodline of Sam Houston, Joseph is a direct descendant of the first president in the history of The Republic of Texas. Struck out 9 of 12 batters against the feared Mexican line-up and arch rival Paco (The Mexican Babe Ruth). Scouted by colleges to play shortstop, Joseph would pitch again in the minor meague system for the San Francisco Giants and has tallied 246 career saves for the Minnesota Twins.
4. Hirano (Japan)
With more movement than the Japanese navy on December 7th in 1941, Hirano once struck out 23 of a possible 24 batters in a 2 game stretch. Easily the silliest control of any pitcher in the entire tournament, some managers questioned if he was doctoring the baseball. It’s no surprise commercials promoting the World Series remarked that “in this world Hirano second chances”. The only pitcher to strike out Peter The Pump, and he did it three times. Hirano might be higher on this list, but Japan’s inability to field anything properly hurt him immensely.
5. Gao (Chinese Taipai)
The Taiwanese Technician, Gao was engineered from birth to be a pitching machine and deliver a title for Chinese Taipai. It was learned after demolishing hitters that Gao was an acronym for Get Americans Out. So fearful that any contact on a pitch would fall for a hit, Gao learned to keep the ball down in the zone which resulted in nothing but weak ground balls. This combination would prove effective, as Gao never gave up a single home run in the entire tournament, and Taipai turned a record setting 12 double plays with Gao on the mound. It was long rumored, but never proven, that Gao was actually a cyborg.
Honorable Mentions:
- Jack (Canada) Killed a bear with a fastball during practice.
- Han (Korea) Communist.
- Colt (Texas) The only reliever on the list, and Colt throws fire.
Jan142010
A Tribute To Little League Baseball: Championship Series On Nintendo
TCM reader, Ben did a great write up over at www.dudusports.com about the top 5 hitters from the Nintendo game, Little League Baseball: Championship Series. The game didn’t make TCM’s Top Ten Nintendo list, but it just narrowly missed. If you’ve never played it, it’s worth tracking down. I’d consider it one of the better sports games released on the console.
You can read his article by clicking here
May222009
The Most Underrated Musical Instruments
In this series of The Most Underrated Musical Instruments, we will be discussing the triangle. A simple, effective, yet fairly queer instrument.
The triangle dates back to medieval times where it wasn’t an instrument at all, but rather a weapon. You see, if thrown at a high enough speed, this fucker could kill. The reason the triangle was used was that upon hitting the enemy, you would hear the distinct ‘ding’ that emanates from the triangle knowing you got the kill. A very effective weapon when used properly but it did have a downside. A problem with using the triangle as a weapon was it was a 1 shot, 1 kill tool therefore making it highly ineffective in the hands of a less skilled ‘tosser’. This ultimately brought the demise of this as a weapon and more to a musical instrument. The triangle was the direct cause to the creation of the boomerang.
As time progressed another popular use of the triangle was to call everyone for lunch/supper/dinner/the hookers are here and so on. It was a highly effective tool in that sense because of the high pitch it gave off. This worked because the men could heard this over the machinery they worked with. But as time progressed, the triangle eventually gave way to the wives just screaming at the top of their lungs. Now I know what you are asking, “Well that’s stupid, it seems like they stepped back a bit in terms of food calling technology.” This is true, but only technically…you see, they may have stepped back in terms of technology but stepped ahead in terms of evolution. By the wives constantly calling out to their husbands, sons and so fourth she would eventually loose her voice, therefore at the end of the day when the men come in from working they don’t have to hear their wives bitching and moaning about doing this and fixing that. Ingenious if you ask me.
This now brings us to current time triangling. It is seen as a womanish instrument now-a-days. God forbid if you get stuck with it in the high school band, or you will be the ultimate tool. Even when striking the instrument, it sounds like it is calling you a tool. But you are already a lost cause since you are in the high school band. Which brings us to our conclusion: The only way a triangle would be cool if it were dipped in gold then gasoline and lit on fire, then played with a human bone–also dipped in gold and on fire–as the beater. I hear that’s how the Pope rocks his triangle.
This guy tries to make the triangle look cool but ultimately fails because he is playing the triangle…and kind of looks like a douche while doing so.
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Apr132009
The Most Underrated Musical Instruments
Today’s most underrated musical instrument is brought you us by the 80′s. Remember the 80′s? It was the decade of bad music, bad hair, bad taste in general, but awesome comedies (Ghostbusters, Summer Rental, Stripes, etc.). For any true fan of 80′s music, you’ll recognize today’s underrated instrument because it may just be one of the dumbest instruments ever created by man – the keytar:
One thing I would like to mention about this picture is its sheer awesomeness. The good old U.S.A, Hulkamania, Fantasy, knee guard, and basketball shorts are being reped hardcore in this pic, but, wait, what’s this? Cuba? Really? Is that guy wearing a Cuba headband? OR should I say, is this guy wearing a Cuba headband and giving the Michael Jordan “I am awesome” tongue? Wow. How did one survive the 80′s? Who knows, but back to the keytar.
The keytar is basically a keyboard on a guitar. The reasoning behind it? Some douchebag wanted to look cool when they were rocking out on keys. Wait, looking cool while jamming on a keytar? Unless your Herbie Hancock or Tom Shuman from Devo, it’s utterly impossible.
The keytar was developed by Anthony Masakowski and commercially introduced in 1980 as the Moog Liberation. Many names, styles, and versions replaced the Moog, but none other took the market with such force. They say the driving influence behind the keytar was Edgar Winter. For those who don’t know Edgar Winter, the band played the song “Frankenstein” which has no words and only a looping, syncopated beat dominated by the keyboard. Edgar Winter was such a badass, he strapped a keyboard around his head to jam out to the tune.
For those of you not familiar with the keytar, we give you this video of a semi-hot lady rocking out to the keytar who is enjoying it far too much. It’s quite the intense video. I watched it 3 times already:
Apr92009
The Most Underrated Musical Instruments
Today’s episode of TMUMI we will be discussing the ever popular instrument, the Bagpipes. I’m sure all the St. Patty’s Day parades we recently attended we have seen and heard our fair share. All the pipers always playing the same tune…yea, yea, yea, Irish, Irish, Irish. Everyone knows what the bagpipes consist of. Yep, you guessed it, a bag and pipes. But many little know the history of this underrated instrument. Well, TCM has got you covered.
A great deal of uncertainty, confusion, death, laughter, bloating, farting, conflict and controversy surrounds the questions of the origins, evolution and distribution of what we call the bagpipes. We do know however that the instrument is so old, it was even mentioned in the Bible. Yea, look at that, we mentioned the Bible. I’m going to end the bloodshed and confusion about where bagpipes originate from right now. Bagpipes are from Scotland. When you think of bagpipes you think of kilts, scotch, Braveheart and fighting amongst other things related to Scottish people.
Bagpipes back in the day were considered a peasant’s instrument because of what it was made out of. Sheep stomach’s and hollowed bones. The rich were too good to be playing that. Honestly, if I was rich, I’d be all over that instrument. I would walk up to the local bagpipe maker and ask, “Mr. Pipemaker, could you make me some bagpipes…extra bloody.” That would be awesome, walking around playing bloody bagpipes scaring the crap out of the locals.
Mar312009
Underrated Musical Instruments
Today in this ever popular series we will be discussing the magical instrument that have several uses. The instrument I am talking about are the Spoons. Yes folks, the Spoons. One minute you could be feeding grandpa his puree of prunes, the next you could be rocking out on stage for the whole nursing home. They are easy to play, but hard to master. Mind you being a master spoon player probably won’t get you far in life, but you’ll look damn cool trying to do so.
The spoons originated in Ireland and were not actually spoons, but bones. How badass is that!? If someone asked you what musical instrument you play, you would say, “I play the bones bitch.” First thing I would think is don’t fuck with this man, or he will kill me and use my femur for an instrument in his band that included, but not limited to, a Jug and a Washboard player.
Now I know we all have tried to play the spoons at one time or another probably failing miserably and/or looking like a retard doing so. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t keep on trying. Take the Amazing Scotty Brothers for example, they started out sucking ass at playing the spoons, but after several hundred years of practice they became spoon masters. See for yourself in this exclusive video titled, “The Amazing Scotty Brothers Rocking The Shit Out Of Those God Damn Spoons”. Enjoy.
Feb222009
The Most Underrated Musical Instruments
Today I would like to begin a new series at TCM called “The Most Underrated Musical Instruments“. I don’t really need to explain since the title is pretty self-explanatory.
I figured I would start this series off with an instrument that has been around for centuries. As a matter of fact, we all probably own one. What am I speaking of you ask? The jug.
This instrument requires little to no skill to play. All you need is A, a jug and B, some lung capacity. If you are a heavy smoker though, consider yourself not worthy, speed up the process of you dying and go jump off a bridge already (Except for you Jimmy J…we love you). If you are not a smoker, and posses both of those attributes, then we can continue.
Pick up the jug…go ahead, its not gonna bite. Position it at a 45 degree angle from your mouth, like Skinny Santa to the left. Instead of blowing like you would into a bottle, buzz your lips like you are playing a didgeridoo (Cause you know, we have all attempted to play that sometime in our lives. And yes, you can expect that in a future memo). Or if you have never played a didgeridoo before, pretend you are motorboating your best friends mom’s chest.
You can make different sounds that come out by changing the tightness of your lips. An oldie but goodie is to constantly make a higher pitch sound and then go directly to a lower pitch sound and repeat. If you do not understand, then picture the music that would go along with an extremely tall skinny fellow squatting then standing repeatedly. Still not getting it? Well, then your retarded.
If you have been living in a cave your whole life or are deaf and have never heard what a jug sounds like, please take a minute out of your day to listen to this jug duet. Edit* Deaf people will still not be able to hear what a jug sounds like…sorry for the confusion folks.
Jug Duet by “…and the Leasebreakers”
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