The date; 2050 BC. The moment; the creation of beer. The affect on civilization; holy shit.
Beer is by far the most celebrated beverage in all the world of all time. The Vikings used to drink meade, a form of beer, before their raids to summon the powers of their gods to give them strength for pillage and plunder. The pilgrims on the Mayflower drank nothing but beer. Did you know that the reason they stopped in Plymouth, MA was to actually make more beer, not land and begin a colony? Amazing.
The great moment in history we are referring to is the first known account of beer drinking. In 2050 B.C., the Babylonians (present day Iraq) documented their recipes for beer in prayers to their gods., (imagine that today when you’re in church – “Please turn to page 36 for the hymn Brown Ale and Honey Nut Stout.”) The Babylonians traded with many throughout the ancient world and it’s believed that beer came to the Eygptians that way. They used more honey in the fermentation process, but it is still considered beer. Once you got the Eygptians rocking out to beer, the whole world will be doing it.
The Romans didn’t drink beer, they drank wine. Although their reign lasted for almost 1000 years, they were pussies because of this. In fact, they were taken over by barbarians to the north who imbibed on beer. These barbarians drank beer so often, they were typically drunk for battle and often fought naked.
In the middle ages, monks did all the brewing. To this day, some of the heaviest beers are still brewed by monks. Countries nationalized beer and their citizens began to associate themselves with it, i.e. Belgian style, German style, etc.
After the industrial revolution, beer took new a light through the advent of commercialization and now there is a multi-billion dollar industry on everyones hands. Beer barons like Anheiser-Busch, Coors, Molson, Labatt, and Miller sprung up dominating the beer industry. Thank god for the ingenuity of many – now we’re beginning to see craft beers come back in style.
Beer is a part of our life. If anyone ever tells you to put it down, you owe that person a kick square in the balls. If it’s your wife or girlfriend, you can reverse that kick and give it to them straight in the ass. Why? Let’s face it, those who drink beer are the enlightened. No matter if it’s Cliff Claven, some fat monk, or that annoying guy in the bar that jumps in on everyone’s conversation when you wish he would just stick to the brew, everyone who consumes beer is genius. If you stop your consumption of beer, you’re probably going to suck at life.
Cheers for beers. Be like the Captains and have one of our favorite brews:
- Captain Yar = Guinness
- Captain Kirk = Michelob Ultra
- Captain Polish = Sam Seasonal, Yuengling, Labatt Blue
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