That’s right folks, you no longer have to use your parents dining room table for a sporting game of beer pong. You can drag everyone into the pool to get drunk. Guys, you now have an ultimate pick-up line for the ladies, “Wanna get wet? …while playing beer pong?” 100% says you will get kicked in the dick or a slap in the face, but you can crawl away knowing you weren’t lying this time.
We here at TCM agree it is a great invention, but it’s only a matter of time before there is some sort of lawsuit that will come out of this. Lets go over how and why this would come about:
- You are in a pool filled with water.
- You can die in water by something we call “drowning”.
- Playing beer pong makes you drunk (If you aren’t a pussy and actually drink your beer instead of pouring it all into one cup “for later”).
- When you get drunk, you do stupid things. “Hey guys! Let’s see how long I can hold my breath under water while strapping these 100lbs weights on!”.
- You hold your breath for too long and die.
- Family members are upset and file a lawsuit against Poolside Pong because it caused them to get drunk, when actually it was the beer.
- Goes to court and becomes national headline…too much money for the people who invented Poolside Pong to continue, so they shut their operation down.
- The owners of Poolside Pong become depressed, and play 1 last game of their creation and agree to drown themselves.
Well that was nice, thank you Captain Buzzkill.
On the lighter side, there are alternative uses to this great device than just a tool for getting drunk. It can be used for a lounge float to hold your fat drunk ass. Also if your friend is drowning and you wish to help them, use it for a life saving device. This way the owners can add them saying, “Poolside Pong saved my life!” to their testimonials section. Editors Note: Don’t use it for a lifesaving device.
In all honesty, this is a great invention. We all are going to get one so we can have a sexy party in our pool this year with the Mexicans that stand on the corner down the block. So come on by, it will be a nacho grandé old time.
I love this thing! I play Beer Pong on my iphone all the time! I am so ordering one of these for our pool this summer. The kids will love it…. of course they won’t be using beer! Or at least they better not. Gotta watch those damn kids. And keep the weights away from them.
Kids and weights…a recipe for disaster!
[...] Sound to the Red Sea in search of new and amazing inventions. We’ve found such creations as Poolside Pong and Anti Monkey Butt. And now we are hear to let you know about the next greatest invention! [...]