No, you’re not a stalker….

This was sent in by a TCM faithful…

To preface the story…I brought my gf to a wedding in Skaneateles [NY]…we were thrown with a table of random people our age who we didn’t know, as expected, located directly in front of the bar. One dude at our table came stag and we struck up conversation with him throughout the night, seemed fairly normal. This un-named stud friended me on facebook the next day, tagged me in a few photos, etc….all was cute and well until a week later when she [his girlfriend] received this handwritten love letter via snail mail. The guy looked her up in the phone book, found her address and mailed the letter addressed to her. I was not involved in the transaction and as far as I know, this guy has no clue that I (or thousands of others now) have read it. I have the original on my desk. Naturally, I scanned the letter and sent it to all my friends.

Without further adieu, the letter.

Some things I would like to note about this letter.

1. Coming out first and saying you are not a stalker is extremely stalkerish and creepy.
2. Going out of the way to look someone up in the phone book through their parents name is incredibly stalkerish.
3. This kid claims to have a camp. Not a home, a camp. That is creepy as fuck, who knows what or who he has tied up or buried there.
4. He was in a frat at Buff State and they have a rush party with an ice louge. Learn how to spell college grad.
5. He would like to bring a pretty girl back to the college scene to get the hormones going. Ok creepasaurus, you obviously didn’t get laid too often in college. We aren’t in the 1950s anymore. Words like sex, fuck, horny and so forth are used now-a-days. Next thing you know this shithead will be asking to “court” this poor girl.
6. He ends it off with saying she has a similar “adventurous” personality like him. Nothing says stalker like you knowing someone for an hour, then claiming to know what they are all about. I’m sure this guy says that about every girl he meets, including his blowup doll.
7. He does have a point though, “but letters are exciting”. So are boob and vagina letters…very exciting.

I am going to finish this off with a final verdict, you are a stalker.