From the mouth of the ape-man himself:
Everybody all uppity about environment and global warm. Bigfoot have warn you for years but no one listen. Al Gore get Nobel Prize, Bigfoot get tasered in shower at mental hospital. Wake up in Cuba wearing orange jump suit and bag over head. Hot weather all of time make Bigfoot shed like crazy. If you find hair in you food or drink it probably mine. 10% chance it Bigfoot pube. That taste hard to get out of mouth. Frankly if eat one probably just better if kill self.
BIGFOOT: I NOT DEAD. Available at your local bookstore
