Have you ever seen a movie about the Middle Ages (Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure)?
Well if you have, awesome, you understand, but if you haven’t, the Middle Ages were a bad ass time to live:
- You got to eat with your hands
- Knights were cool
- People threw their poop out into the road
- Language was very awesome and random
- People had incredible names
That’s right. The only reason to go back and live in the Middle Ages would be for your name. Imagine being Richard the Lionhearted, Pepin the Short, or William the Conquerer. Pretty sick huh. You could roll into any party, someone would announce your name and shit would just go insane. You’d have fair maidens dancing with you, knights in full armor playing ale pong, and don’t forget those cool Medievel Bands – they’ll be rocking out with some random flute, drum loop making the masses go nuts.
Well friends, it’s time to bring this back to the 21st century. Back to reality a minute, we have much better food, beer, clothes, etc. than the Middle Ages did, but our names, although meaningful and sentimental, need an upgrade. It’s time for us to start addressing eachother in Middle Aged tongue. Next time you see your buddy Pete, instead of giving him a “What’s up Man?”, give him a “Good Morrow Peter the Pooper.”
You get this idea. This could be rather fun. The best thing about the names is that once their made, they’ll stick. Imagine your fun in the office when you can walk around and give out the names for Larry the Flatulent, Tiny the Loose-Legged, and Barnaby the Badnamed. Instant popularity or hatred depending on which way you decide to go.
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