We here at TCM love this series. It gives us a chance to channel our inner-Freud and try to understand some of the social characters we come in contact with in our daily lives. So far we’ve tackled the Douchebag, the Sorority Slores, the Out of Control Facebooker, and the One-Upper. Without further distraction, TCM is proud to present to you the Workplace Phone Woman.

I don’t even have to explain what this is. If you have a job and have a set of ears/brain, you know exactly what I’m talking about. For those of you who don’t fit the above description, the Workplace Phone Girl is a woman at work that talks on the phone constantly about her personal life. She’s usually in earshot of where you sit, i.e. the next cube over, the office across the hall, etc., and has no problem talking about her personal life for hours upon hours of the work day.

I had one of these birds sit across from me two years ago. When I eventually moved to a new building, I left with knowing the exact status of her new home, why the kitchen fixtures didn’t match the dining room, why she doesn’t trust her husband’s judgment when it comes to picking out furniture, and why her new house ended up costing her more money than the estimate.

I’ve had similar run-ins with new and expecting moms. Now let me be clear: the act of childbirth is a cool thing and I have respect for women who put their bodies through all of that kind of stuff to produce a child; I just don’t want to hear about it at work all day. Another woman to the right of me went through the whole pregnancy thing about a year ago. I could stand her because she was cool, but I couldn’t stand the phenomenon called “the new mom’s club” that would come by her cube and discuss the status of their newborns for an hours length each day.

Another type of Workplace Phone Woman is the “social-fiend.” Closely related to the sorority slore, they make sure everyone knows how cool their life is and exactly what they are doing every night of the week by publicly making and announcing their plans at work on the phone.

Look ladies, I know you have shit to talk about with to your girlfriends and co-workers who care, but I’m not one of them. Use text messaging, email or some sort of un-intrusive communication device to talk about your new home, your upcoming wedding, your weekends plans, etc. because no one in the vicinity of where you work gives a shit.

Every time my desk is moved, I end up next to a Workplace Phone Woman of some sort and immediately I get sucked into her life because she can’t stop talking about it. Who knows, maybe this is my boss’s way of telling me she hates me, but I can’t confirm. I just know that I can’t stand this social character and that they need to be vanquished somehow.

If you have ideas, we’d certainly like to hear them.

A big shout to Wangman for providing the inspiration for this post. Yes ladies, his nickname is Wangman.