Memos Tagged ‘beer’
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The Greatest White Guy Fro Ever
I saw this cat at a Tom Petty concert and immediately thought of Captain Yar. Six years ago Yar rocked a fro that was not as intense as this one, but it was on the same level. I’ve been after Yar to bring back said fro, but to no avail. Oh well.
Anyhow, the fro this son-of-a-bitch rocked made my day when waiting in the beer line for $13 beers.
Aug202010
Greatest invention ever
This series shows us great inventions throughout mankind. Our last piece we showed you the Gamerator, an arcade system with a keg hook up. Simply brilliant.
Well somehow, it seems that beer has made it to the top of the list of greatest inventions again. This time we bring you the Beer Throwing Fridge.
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The only downfall of this device is that with each beer you drink, the Beer Throwing Fridge progressively becomes more dangerous. I can see it now, page 15 of the New York Times:
Man dies after being pummeled to death by own fridge
NEW YORK – At about 3pm yesterday, the victim Mike Honcho, purchased what is called the Beer Throwing Fridge. It is a fridge that will dispense and throw you a can of beer across the room. Eager to try it out, he plugged it in and loaded up his favorite brew. Not 100% sure on how to work the device, he began to push buttons on the remote included with the fridge. Little did he realize but he pushed the “reload party” button. This will rapidly disperse beer throughout the room if there are many people around. Unfortunately for Mike, he and his dog were the only ones around. His neighbors said they heard a lot of laughter, a lot of banging, yelling, a loud thud, some barking, then silence. The person who called 911 claimed that Mike was in a fight with an intruder. When the police arrived, they saw the beer dispensing fridge, which was empty, beer cans strewn across the apartment, Mike’s dog licking up beer and Mike laying unconscious on the floor. Mr. Honcho was declared dead at Mt. Sinai Hospital. He was survived by his dog, Pizza. No charges have been filed against the fridge.
Aug132010
Greatest invention ever
Well it has happened ladies and gentlemen. It was only a matter of time, but it happened.
The Gamerator.
Take a moment to study that photo. Looks like a normal arcade system correct? Well, it ain’t. If you will shift your eyes to the crotch area of the system, you will notice a beer tap. Yes, a beer tap. My question is why hasn’t anyone thought of this idea earlier. I mean, putting a keg inside a fully functioning arcade system? Amazing.
As well as the keg tap and video games, this piece of art comes with a 26″ flat panel HDTV, 2 conveniently-placed cup holders to house your beverage while playing, a trackball system and 2 joysticks for head to head drunken pissed off classic video game action. They also made this beast capable of hooking up to your PS3, 360, Wii, etc. as well as loading the machine up with Windows XP so you can “work from home” on those days where just going into work sucks. Which 60% of the time is always 100% of the time.
Oh, for those interested in the actual gaming part, here is a list of all the legitimate games:
TAITO Legends:
Space Invaders, Space Invaders II, Bubble Bobble, Elevator Action, Rastan, New Zealand Story, Plotting(aka Flipull), Jungle Hunt, Operation Wolf, Operation Thunderbolt, Rainbow Islands, Phoenix Colony 7, Electric YoYo, Zoo Keeper, Great Swordsman, Gladiator, Exisus, Plump Pop, Super Qix, Battle Shark, Continental, Circus, Volfied, Ninja Kids, Space Gun, ThunderFox, Tube It, Return of the Invaders, and Tokio.Konami Classics:
Castlevania, Castlevania II, Castlevania III, Contra, Super CMidway:
720 Degrees, Blaster Bubbles, Defender, Defender II, Gauntlet, Joust, Joust 2, Klax, Marble Madness, Paperboy, Rampage, Rampart, Road Blasters, Robotron: 2084, Root Beer Tapper, Satan’s Hollow, Sinistar, Smash TV, SPLAT!, Spy Hunter, Super Sprint, Toobin’, Vindicators.Midway Deluxe:
Mortak Kombat, Mortal Kombat II, Mortal Kombat III, Xybots, NARC, APB, Cyberball 2072, Timber, Total Carnage, Pit Fighter, Wizard of Wor, Xenophobe, Primal Rage, Arch Rivals, Rampage World Tour, Kozmik Krooz’r, Championship Sprint, Hard Drivin’, Wakco, Badlands, Hydro Thunder, Off Road Thunder: Mud, Sweat, ‘N’ Gears, Race Drivin’, San Francisco Rush the Rock: Alcatraz Edition, San Francisco Rush 2049, S.T.U.N. Runner, Super Off Road.
Not gonna lie, pretty stoked for a beer and Mortal Kombat combo.
Get yours today for a low low price of $3,499. Start saving those empties you drunks.
Jul292010
Photo of the Day!
So apparently children in India get drunk a lot. A plus for the pseudo-mullet this guy is rocking.
Jul92010
Top 10 Things To Do This Summer, Naked
So summer is officially upon us. What better thing to do than going outside and doing stuff in this glorious, glorious weather. O wait, I know…going outside and doing stuff in this glorious, glorious weather, naked. You must be thinking, “Yar…your fucking crazy”. I say, “Yes, yes I am”.
So if any of you hooligans decide to do naked stuff this summer, take this list into account. It could save your goddamn life.
#10 – Attend a BBQ naked
When you think of summer, one of the activities you think of are going to BBQ’s. They are good times. Beer, good food, friends, games, all good fun. Next time you get invited to a BBQ why don’t you spice things up a bit. Show up naked. Not only will you surprise the shit out of the guests, but you for sure will be the talk of the party. “Hey, can you hand me a wiener…well done.”
May302010
ManCation Nation
“Dick drive this car, not pussy.”
That’s right bitches, it’s a ManCation. No women allowed. But what is it you might ask? Well in Parker, Arizona right on the Colorado River, there is a place that knows how to have a proper badass time. ManCation Nation, it goes by. It is a resort of sorts for men only where you can go water skiing on the Colorado River, eat like kings and run around the Arizona desert shooting crazy ass weapons. Sounds like a good ol’ man time to this Captain.
Here is the video selling this trip:
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How could you NOT want to go here? Did you see the guy on the wake board holding an assault rifle!? That’s like James Bond shit right there…until he lands a jump and the force of the landing makes him shoot himself in the foot. My question is why does the guy have his finger on the trigger in the first place? Don’t worry, I’ll answer that: Because he was going to go shoot some bad guys, stupid.
Meeting of the Minds 2010 will take place at ManCation Nation. Book now for discount rates.
Unfortunately for all TCM readers, there are no transvestite prostitutes at ManCation Nation.
May182010
Best Bottle Opener Ever
I don’t even care that it’s a twist off. That’s still awesome.
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