Unlike Santa Claus, The Easter Bunny and Diet Dr. Pepper, Punxsutawney Phil is real. He is a groundhog that lives in a tree stump but on every February 2nd of each year, he is yanked out of his stump like a homeless man yanking out his peener on a bus…with extreme force. If you didn’t already know, this morning in Gobbler’s Knob, PA (more on that name later), Mr. Phil saw his shadow this morning. So what does that mean for us? That winter will last another 6 weeks. Fuck you Phil.
Is it a shock to you all that Punxsutawney Phil isn’t the only animal that declares our winters longer or shorter. We live in America…weren’t we built off trying to be better than the last guy or in this case groundhogs? This certainly applies to weather forecasting rodents. Here is a list of some of the animals, including Phil, that are America’s most famous weatheranimals for a day.
Sir Walter Wally – Raleigh, North Carolina
Sir Walter Wally out of Raleigh was actually born in Easington Colliery, England. He saw no opportunity in England as a groundhog’s day groundhog because the weather is constantly shitty there and will never see his shadow. So he got his furry little ass on a plane to the states and wound up in Raleigh, NC. Why Raleigh? From what I hear UNC has a lot of hot chicks.


