#5 – Julie Benz
If you all watch the show, Dexter amongst other shows/movies she has been in you will know she is pretty hot. Her roles are usually the same throughout her career (well, from what I’ve seen). An innocent woman that is out for the better good. Hence, Dexter, Rambo and The Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day (not so innocent in the last one). So yea, this is probably the one you’d want to marry. Hell, what am I saying…if I married any of these actresses I’d consider myself winning.
Captain Flintheart likes his female celebrities two ways. Either fantastic looking and classy as hell like the actresses of yesteryear (more on that on a future post) or fully stocked, thick and robust. As a rule I’m not interested in ridiculously skinny girls, ESPECIALLY if you can see her ribs. In fact, you may remember I was the only TCM member to vote pro-boobs in the epic debate. I think it will be easy to see which actresses I chose fall into what category.
5. Natalie Portman
Natalie Portman isn’t hot…she’s beautiful.
Bonus Points: She starred in 3 Star Wars movies.
Celebrate Labor Day with Alison Brie (of NBC’s Community and AMC’s Mad Men fame) and Gillian Jacobs (from Community).
Two women I would love to have labor resulting relations with… sans labor.
Hawaii. Duh, no shit.
Here’s 6 reasons why (In no particular order, of course):
Kiana Tom
Why She’s Happy: She is a TV host, a fitness expert and was once an Oakland Raider’s cheerleader. Note the emphasis on was. That’s why she’s happy. Oh, and much like the rest of the girls on this list, she’s posed in Playboy.
Workaholic, Jack White disbanded his flagship group, the White Stripes. Unfortunately, this seems to have been in the cards for awhile do to their self imposing limits of only having two bands members and minimal overdubbing (along with no more than three instruments appearing per song). Simply put the band ran it’s course.
My biggest disappointment is not getting to see them live. I had tickets to see them on their Canadian tour that became the album, Under The Great Northern Lights in the Summer of 2007 but had to have an emergency appendectomy on the 4th of July. However, I have been fortunate enough to see his other band, The Raconteurs play twice and Jack White proved himself as being one of the only true “guitar heroes” of our generation and by far the most violent guitarist I’ve ever seen.
The good news is we can likely look forward to yet another band formed by White full of band members that look just like him.
The bad news is we probably won’t ever get to see Meg White’s big old titties flopping around the drum kit like a fish out of water ever again.
Ladies, don’t be surprised if you wake up with a pearl necklace.
TCM would like to present to you on this Monday morning a fine collection of hand bra’s. Hand bra’s are boobs being held by the hands of the owner of those said boobs or another pair of hands to hide the nipples from the public eye.
We love hand bra’s and you will too after viewing our collection.
Well, in roughly 8 hours, 2010 will be dead. Forgotten and dead. What a better way than to showcase some of our best crap from the year they called two thousand ten.
Captain Polish touches on a hilarious issue in this country. The War on Fat Kids
TCM finally brings an end to the epic debate: Boobs vs. Butts.
Once again the mysterious powers of science unfortunately proved that the Dinosaurs were murdered.
Check out when we try and use the mysterious powers of science to figure our as to why Ke$ha looks like a stupid whore.
Conan O’Brien was out of a job, so we compiled a bunch of his best field work.
There are some quality bands that you listened to in the past, well remember one of them here!
If you could live in one “fake” house, I guarantee 99% of you would say The Ghostbuster’s Firehouse.
And you thought betting on who’s poop will be bigger was fun, check out these rules for betting on the TV show GUTS from Nickelodeon fame.
Captain Flintheart is friends with someone named Leroy. Here is one of his phone calls.
The muppets are funny. These people are funny looking.
What the hell is up with Punxsutawney Phil and his gang of furry friends?
We lost a Captain this year, which is why he was our Captain of the Month for February.
Here are some guidelines as to how to properly name your bong.
Captain Polish offers his fatherly advice to graduating seniors. I’m pretty sure flushing your system before taking a drug test is one of those pieces of advice.
You know the finishers that wrestlers use in the ring? Well what if we used them in everyday life?
Komodo dragons were specifically designed to kill shit.
I officially gained a lot of enemies doing a Top 10 on movies and their sequels.
Captain Warbucks counts down the Top 5 pitchers from the Little League Baseball Championship Series for the NES. Better late then never.
I love being naked. So, I made a list this past summer of the Top 10 things to do naked.
Top story of the year was undoubtedly the vuvuzela. Here is 5 things to do with that goddamn vuvuzela.
Energy drinks are great, when drank at the appropriate time. Right before a colonoscopy is not one of those times.
Sharks will eat you up, no jokes. We scoured the globe to find 5 monsters that could eat a shark. We came up with some interesting results.
The world is going to end. It will most likely not be one of these ways.
