ADVERTISEMENT

Memos Tagged co-workers


Characters
Sep82010

“Office Worker” Characters – Blackberry Thumbs

Let’s face it – we all know blackberry thumbs when we see it. It’s typically a person of high perceived stature that can’t comprehend all the function of the blackberry device, i.e. mid-to-high level management, or youth that can’t get enough of bbm and texting their friends. Since this is a post series on “office worker” characters (I put it in quotes since no one in an office does actual work), we’ll be covering the first of these two classifications.

blackberry 12 Office Worker Characters Blackberry Thumbs

This is the best pic I could pull off the Internet, but you get the point. If your boss is either given a blackberry or feels important enough that they should have one and actually went out and bought one, this is probably one of the scenes you’re familiar with on a daily basis. I’m going to break down the person who sits above you on the totem poll who has the blackberry:

1. They’re self important
2. They have trouble using basic software applications
3. They’re rude
4. They can give a shit about you since they’re now at “the blackberry level” in the company

Let’s take these one at a time.

They’re self important. Is your boss approachable now with a blackberry? Probably not. Any time you see them in a meeting or in general they are thumbing through it looking for more work that’s important than what you’re going to bring them.

They have trouble using basic software applications. Screw knowing how to use Excel, Access, and PowerPoint – you now have to learn how to use your blackberry! I find it humorous that people that end up with blackberry’s in an organization have difficulty putting together a decent presentation or working formulas into a spreadsheet.

They’re rude. Here’s you in a meeting, “…bottom line is we need to grow our sales by 10% annually to hit our five year goals…”. Here’s them during your meeting, “[tap, tap, tap, tapppp, tap, tap, tapppppp, tap]“. Yep. They didn’t listen to anything you said or anything that happened at the meeting because they have a blackberry.

They can give a shit about you since they’re now at “the blackberry level” in the company. Having your company give you a blackberry is the equivalent of being knighted in the middle ages – your superiors know you’re better than your colleagues and need to give you something more to show it. “Blackberry level” is the top part of the pyramid. None of the shmucks and losers will be seen with a company blackberry – management makes sure this never will happen.

Moral of the story, this character can go either way in terms of popularity at a company. The Yeomen hate Blackberry Thumbs while the elite consider them one of their own. Captain Flintheart actually fits the mold of a Blackberry Thumbs, but we all know that he’s just surfing porn.


Tags: ,

Characters
Aug312010

“Office Worker” Characters

It September. That means people stop taking vacations and get more into their jobs. We talk about work a lot on TCM because it’s such an interesting topic – especially when you work in an office. And if you’ve ever spent any time in an office or work place type setting, there’s a good chance that you’ve encountered several of these people or perhaps all of them:

office workers Office Worker Characters

This is a few years old, but it’s straight and to the point. We all have an “arrival checker” that watches us and our shit with the thought that any moment it can be out on the street. We all have a “dumb looking good guy” who steals the female bosses attention and provides the divorced 30-somethings with day time eye candy. Even at TCM headquarters Captain Warbucks is known as the “butt crack guy” and that’s no lie.

I’m going to tackle each one of these “office workers” and go a little bit behind the scenes on why they are the way they are. If you think a character from your office is missing on this list, make sure you send us a note. This will be a nice little fall project and probably cause my demise at my actual job.


Tags:

Holiday, Issues, Work
Nov302009

“…and how was your Thanksgiving?”

If I had to hear this line uttered one more time today, I probably would’ve went postal.

OK, I get it. It’s the first day back from a long vacation; but there is no need to be overly concerned on how someone’s thanksgiving was. There’s no need to try to search and claw for every last detail.

Tell me, do you really care how much stuffing I ate, or what my favorite pie is, or who was there from my family, or how long it took me to pass out on the floor? Who gives a shit. What if I told you my deep-fried turkey caught on fire, burnt half the house down, and I received stress-related diarrhea as a result? You’d feel like a jerk.

If there is anything worse than work, it’s mixing small talk WITH work. Not only are you being graded on your performance, but you’re also now being graded on your ability to hop-knob (a.k.a kiss ass) with your superiors. What the fuck! Sure everyone has work friends (and they are vital to surviving each day), but there’s always that awkward forced conversation with a co-worker when you see them somewhere at work or out and about that is horrible and unavoidable. Editor’s Note: The Captain’s are going to touch on co-workers in depth at a later date.

I wisened up around 9 and created a default response for all of this today: too much food, too much family. That seemed to work for half of the day until someone said, “too much family?” I was preparing to drop kick them in the stomach until they decided to chime in on their holiday without warning. I used the massive shit excuse and walked away 13 seconds later. The minute you bring your stool into conversations, you’re good to get out of anything.

To answer the question though, my thanksgiving was just like yours. It involved food, drinking, and people. It was great.


Tags: , , ,
Creative Commons License