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Memos Tagged crazy shit


Feb152009

A beached lochness monster with a case of crotch rot

So, I was going through some old photos and came across a gem.

After passing around a bottle, we thought it would be a good idea to pass a piece of cardboard around the table with everyone adding a phrase or word after the person before them.  I awoke the next morning to find this piece of cardboard, re-read it and took a picture of it.

Before you read, I am giving you a warning.  Your head might explode.

Chewbaka swashbuckles squat-thrusting shlong tastic chewbaka suckin’ retarded pirate flagmastic super sloths!  The fight ended Darth Vader because he was wearing a MERMEN!  He had no idea what he was eating but the smell was like a beached lochness monster with a case of crotch rot drinking banana cognac.  With this guy taking pictures of dirty eyed battleship babies with some beefy pussy who gave the redskins hepatitis. He should have used Herpecin L. My legs are very sober. I ate some Rold Gold family sized bowled cogburners. “Terry the Terrible Tea-bagger himself”.

My milkshake is on fire but I don’t really eat marshmallow graham sized popsicles grilled over the heaping pile of shit that I built my house on only having one leg. But we rolled with the people purple eater who tickled Elmo’s gooch with a feather on Big Birds ass. Family sized.

To this day, this piece has never been deciphered into the normal English language.  Today, I am going to try.

Chewbaka is gay fighting retarded pirates. The fight killed Darth Vader because he was in love with a merman.  Darth Vader was eating something, but he didn’t know what, all he know was that it smelled really bad.  Some guy infected with hepatitis was taking photos of dirty babies.  We all know he should have used Herpacin L, but his legs were sober. Terry ate some Rolds Gold family sized pretzels.

Someones milkshake is on fire, and they better put it out.  A house was built by a one legged person on some poop but we rolled with the people purple eater who tickled Elmo’s gooch with a feather on Big Birds ass (you can’t get much more clearer than that folks).  Family sized.

Hope that makes your head hurt a little less…if you even got this far down.



Feb132009

Female Drivers

I really don’t have to say much, just watch the video…

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Feb132009

Inaugural Post

Ok, I figured I would post some crazy shit to start this off to let you all know what we are about.

SNN1304B 380 732153a Inaugural Post

Baby-faced Alfie, who is 13 but looks more like eight, became a father four days ago when his girlfriend Chantelle Steadman gave birth to 7lb 3oz Maisie Roxanne.

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article2233878.ece

*FYI, here at the Captains Memos, we are all about unprotected sex.  But at age 13, I’m surprised the kid even knew what a vag was.


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