ADVERTISEMENT

Memos Tagged Cropdust


Mar242010

The Vault

memovault The Vault

Due to the increasing number of comments on the Vault, the Captain’s have decided that it’s here to stay. Here’s a couple of good nuggets from the earlier days:

- Another Captain Kirk gem: Dictionary definitions for today’s man. “Cropdusting” and “dutch oven” cracked the 2009 version of Webster’s as a result.

- Captain Yar explains where General Tso’s came from. You can put a rest to the alley cat theory, but can’t deny its rationale.

- SI Swimsuit Rookies: The stories of the lives behind the hottest women in the world.



Feb252009

Important Dictionary Terms

We at TCM feel it is important to keep our readers constantly learning, so here’s the first series of dictionary terms you should know.

fart Important Dictionary Terms

1 Cropdusting: Silently passing gas while walking past others then quickly vacating the area leaving the others to suffer the ill consequences

2 Dutch Oven: To fart in bed and then push your partner under the covers to enjoy the atmosphere

3 Karaoke Fart: A sequence of farts comprising of tunes to sing along to

4 Turtle Head: The uncomfortable feeling that something more than gas might pop out when you next fart

5 Tear Jerker: Brings tears to the eyes. Good for use in a Dutch Oven.

6 Snickerdoodle: The type of name for a fart one uses when having fart wars

7 Sledgehammer: So smelly that when wafted into someone’s face they instantly recoil, complaining that the smell felt like a sledgehammer blow to the nose. Give yourself a pat on the back.

8 Rolling Dutch Oven: Winding up the windows in the car to allow the passenger no respite from your fumes

9 Machine Gun: Rapid succession of ballistic farts.

10 Hydroflatus: Farting underwater. The bubbles can be ignited at the surface.



Feb252009

Required: Adult Recess

42 152273281 150x150 Required: Adult Recess

We no longer live in a time of the 9 to 5. Unless you’re unionized or live in Europe. So here in America I’m proposing a new 30 minute session to the workplace. An adult recess. Adult size discovery zone tubes. Adult size monkey bars and swings. How funny would it be to see your boss yelling weeee as the intern pushed him from behind? Moral would increase and exercise would be welcomed. Even some touch football or friendly game of octopus or tag could be initiated. Although there will be one drawback, the office will smell like BO for most of the remainder of the day. At least it’ll cover the smell of the occasional cropdust.


Creative Commons License