So, I assume you all woke up this morning to find a basket with some candy, some Advil for that hangover and a bunch of plastic eggs. And what is in those eggs? Well if your anything like me, mostly likely you would have gotten some dollar bills. Now I know what you are thinking…are you going to tell us what to do with those eggs and money? You bet your fat ass I am.

Now what all of us at TCM are going to do first thing tomorrow morning (with the exception of Captain Kirk…he doesn’t believe in the Easter bunny so his eggs were filled with doo doo) is march right on down to the local strip joint, plastic eggs in hand. Little known fact: Monday mornings, the strip clubs put on their best performers cause if you are showing up then, you are fucking dedicated. We all sit front row and break out our eggs and start sticking those dollar bills in the most inappropriate places, sometimes not even taking the money out of the eggs. I bet you that is the first thing Jesus did waking up this morning.

So, that answers your question. What would Jesus do? He would head right down to the ol’ strip joint. Unless you are Raptor Jesus, he probably would have eaten the strippers.