Let’s preface this post with the fact that I am a mid-twenty year old male who thinks poop and farts are funny, likes porn, and is pretty content with being naked at home. Surprising? It shouldn’t be. I am basically your typical twenty year old man.

I’m actually naked while writing this post. No lie. Having no roommates has it’s advantages. What kind of advantages? Well for starters, I don’t have to use doors really. No need for privacy accept the one that separates me from the outside world. I can do my morning routine, i.e. shit, shower, shave, breakfast, etc. in the nude (sort of straightforward). I use less laundry than others, etc. etc. etc.

Others share the same views. I remember Captain Kirk telling me how happy he is to take a dump with the door open and not have to suffocate from his fumes.

I don’t think there is anything wrong with being nude, but I’m not going to go join a nudist colony. Some of those people really do need to wear some clothes. Let’s save that for another post down the line.

Why am I sharing this with you? Well, I watched this clip today at work and basically found another guy in the world that is apparently just like me – except for the fact that he may be going to jail now for a year for being naked in his own house!

Apparently some woman and her 7 year old son were walking around and saw this guy naked in his kitchen at 5:30 AM. She reported this to the police and they arrested him on lewd behavior and indecent exposure. The guys response? “I just got up and put on a pot of coffee.”

Wow. It seems like we have a real son-of-a-bitch here on our hands. Really lady? You and your 7 year old were walking around at 5:30 AM, when a good majority of people are sleeping or just starting to get up for the day, look over and see a guy making coffee and decide to report him? What the fuck?

If someone tried to report my naked ass for lewd behavior while looking in my own house I’d ask them what the fuck they were doing! Isn’t that trespassing? Doesn’t this guy have rights on the property that he owns? It’d be one thing if he was putting on a show on the porch at 8 AM, but when he’s making coffee at 5:30 in the morning? I’m puzzled. What’s happening to the world when people can’t stroll naked in their own home without being reported for indecent exposure?

I’m hoping this guy beats the rap here or else my lifestyle is in jeopardy. Time to close the blinds.