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Memos Tagged Fucked Up


Sep302011

This Was My Biggest Childhood Fear

When I was a very young kid, the man pictured below had an “educational” tv show. His name was Slim Goodbody and he terrified me to death. In fact, he was my number one fear at the time. I would cry and beg my parents to turn it off anytime his show was on.

Seeing it now for the first time in about 25 years I feel 100% justified.  This shit is creepy on a few levels here. First and foremost dudeman’s insides are on his outside and there are so many fucking things wrong with that. Not too mention he’s wearing a skin tight unitard and his package is well on display, yet somehow anatomically missing from his body suit. He looks like Richard Simmons, Bob Saget and (old school) Howie Mandell all jizzed in a cup together and gave it to some lucky female recipient who wanted to bear the ultimate 1980′s freak.

Mission-a-fucking-complished.

 

SLIM GOODBODY2 This Was My Biggest Childhood Fear

 



Jun12010

Drugs Give You Super Powers…

In this case, the super power to rip a man’s heart out.

So yea…Jarrod Wyatt, a US cagefighter, thought it would be a great idea to drink a cup of shroom tea and then rip out his trainers heart, Taylor Powell, while he was still alive.

article 0 09D2A2A1000005DC 134 233x316 Drugs Give You Super Powers...

If ripping out Powell’s heart wasn’t enough, he also cut out his tongue and ripped most of his face off. When the police arrived to the scene:

They claim they found the 26-year-old standing naked over his friend’s body with parts, including an eyeball, strewn around the blood splattered room in Klamath, California.

If this was a movie, and not real life, this would probably rate pretty high on badass things to do list. But it was real life so it rates pretty high on the most fucked up things you could possibly do list. His reason for it all, “I thought he was possessed by the devil”.

Oh, well that makes it OK then.

The best part of it all is that his lawyer tried to play the scene down by stating:

‘My client was trying to silence the devil,’ said James Fallman.

‘I think he was having a psychotic fit based on the mushrooms he had.’

Shit…You think!?

Read more about one of Captain Polish’s sexual fantasies here.


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