Yep, we’re still here…
It’s winter time.
Winter is a bitch, but 2010-2011 has been particularly shitty all over the United States. TCM would like to present you with 3 tips on how not to be a bigger asshole thank you already are this winter and save yourself from being murdered by Captain Flintheart.
1. After a snow storm clean off the top of your car. I understand if you have a van or can’t reach the top of the vehicle. Other than that you have no excuse. I can’t stand driving behind someones car that has a snow mohawk and it’s flying off their roof onto my windshield. If I’m going to die driving it damn well better be due to my own negligence.

2. If you have to park in the street during a snow storm and your car gets plowed in over night, shovel the damn thing out. This doesn’t even effect me but it infuriates the living shit out of me. I can’t stand watching some idiot try to drive over feet of firmly packed plowed snow for 20 minutes and get stuck when it would have taken them 6 minutes to shovel out of all the snow. Don’t be an idiot. Buy a shovel if you live in the North East, you will use it.

3. Don’t walk in the street. I understand if things are messy and your on a desolate street. However, when sidewalks are shoveled and your on a main road you have no excuse. Don’t you understand in bad conditions drivers don’t always have the best control over their vehicles? We don’t want to slam on the breaks and skid into your dumb ass or another car because you felt like walking in the road.

Yea, I know that I have a lot of pet peeves but this winter is slowly moving these up the list. Oh yea, and if you happen to have car trouble or get stuck, the captains ain’t helping you unless you look like this.

I don’t think it is a surprise that Snooki has the most quotes on this list.
#10 – Snooki
“I got kicked out of Chili’s last time I was here. I had too many of these, and I got up on the bar and knocked over all the bottles of Chili’s liquor. They kicked me out for two days, until they realized who I was and brought me back. It was Sunday Funday. Where you say, ‘It’s Sunday, I’m going to get drunk.’ Is today Sunday?”
What jack ass with a bow tie invented this shit? I hate abbreviations anyway despite the fact that some are very useful. Their is a large portion of them that are grossly uncessary. For instance, BBQ has the exact same amount of syllables as the word ‘barbeque’ thus saving you no time by abbreviating the word and therefore defeating the purpose. Now their are abbreviations specific to the office and emails…especially blackberrys. Two of the worst offenders are “tx” or “thx’ which is suppose to mean “thanks” and also “pls” for “please”. Seriously? It saves you fucking micro seconds to type the rest of the letters out. I’d feel like such a gay lord typing that in an e-mail.
Does anyone else have any other examples of this stupid office trend?
Most of you already know how the Captains feel about Facebook. If you want to post a bunch of almost naked photos of yourself far be it for us to try and stop you. However, don’t get pissed when people think your a slore or the fact that you have creepy people ogling your photos. Another thing, it’s not cool to post pictures of you drinking, nor is it attractive to the opposite sex. Once you get out of college (hopefully) you will realize that.

Please do not post 246 pictures from a single night you and your 2 friends making a bunch of stupid faces over and over again. Why do teenage girls sit in their house taking pictures of themselves making a pouty face a trillion times then take 30 more in the car doing the same thing? It’s fucking stupid. Is this what passes for fun these days for kids? It’s fucking retarded.
And another thing ladies. Guys know that when you put your hand on your hip in a picture it’s so you can appear thinner. Give it up.
That is all.
I got in on the ground floor when the TV show, The Office was new. At the time, its lack of a laugh track and mockumentary style of filming was considered “fresh” (see also: the incredible tv series: Arrested Development). After the show got its feet wet with it’s insanely short first season, it hit its stride with the second. I think most fans will unanimously tell you either the second or third season was when when the show had peaked. The fourth, while still excellent had begun to slip a notch (thank you very much writer’s strike). The fifth and sixth season began a downward spiral that’s still being felt today. Zanier plots, new characters and idiotic love triangles.
Oh, but it gets worse.
Steve Carrell has just announced that he is leaving the show after the upcoming seventh season, but apparently the series will continue. We all know that replacing the main character is always a good if not better move. Remember how awesome it was when Charlie Sheen replaced Michael J. Fox on Spin City or how about after Phil Hartman died and he was replaced on News Radio by John Lovitz? It doesn’t fucking work. Why can’t other TV series take a page from Seinfeld and go out before things begin to tank? (Simpsons, I’m looking in your direction. Your already 10 years too far).

I realize I have the option to not watch the Office, which I most certainly will exercise. I just hate to see a show I once loved take a shit all over me and not leave anything for me to clean up with. Arrested Development might be my favorite show of all time, but the best thing that ever happened to it was getting canceled during it’s third season.
Has anyone seen this bit of delight that’s making the rounds on ESPN? This fucking asshole on his phone gets smacked right in the face with a baseball. I love when people suck at life and cry like pussies, especially at baseball games.
On a side note, it took me way too long to find this video. Fuck you MLB and your copyrights.
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