My heart is broken because a coyote took my precious Daisy right in front of our eyes. HORROR! We are searching. Hoping. Please help!
Jessica Simpson you cunt. If you all didn’t hear, Ms. Simpson’s dog was snatched up by a coyote…that’s right, a fucking coyote. I see that your dog was taken right in front of your eyes. Ok Jessica, I will tell you how you could have avoided this entire situation. You could have gotten a dog that could kick the shit out of a coyote, but since you didn’t you have another option. You have legs, correct? (I think we’ve all seen Dukes of Hazzard) And you know how to kick those legs, correct? Well, a good ‘ol fashioned kick to the face could have gotten rid of the coyote in no time. Well you didn’t and now your dog is eaten.
To be quite honest, we believe there was a story leading up to this “kidnapping”. Here is a breakdown of what us here at TCM believe truly happened:
