There are many observations that can be made while dropping the kids off at the pool.

One. Newspapers or computer print outs left on the floor should not give away the poopers identity. This captain has never understood why a NY Post will still have the address and name of the man who carried it in printed on page 1. Or why 8 printouts from The St Louis Herald are left on the ground when the office has but one Cardinals fan.

Two. Farting OK. When it sounds like the bowl is not going to able to handle the army explosion, not OK. Cut back on the 8 cups of coffee a day and eat a few tums. There’s a point that ones stomach just can’t take anymore. That point passed when the shart hit the pants after lunch. Please don’t continue going to the coffee pot, it’ll just lead to a coffee spotted potty.

Three. A bowl can be used for more than just doing business with John. This is also a good time to pick a bugger or take a power nap. (Three is more just good advice than an observation)

Four. How much TP is too much? And this is what lead this captain back to post. One can hear another rolling the TP to break some off while on the bowl themselves. And then rolling it again. When it gets to the point that you realize to yourself, “holy crap, that caveman is already up to 8 or 10 turns to the TP roll”, you start to count. And if it continues 7 more times someone has a serious problem. See a doctor. Your creamy butt nuggets not only dominated that bowl but it also lead Captain Kirk back to TCM.