Memos Tagged ‘Pastime Moment’


Books, Pastime
Oct192009

Choose Your Own Adventure (For Adults)

Captain Kirk awhile back proposed the idea to make the Bible a *choose your own adventure book, to increase its readability. I have to admit, he might have been on to something.

TCM reader, Illz has made his contribution to the series, crafting a story in that style we all loved as kids in a new adult themed way. (“Adult” doesn’t mean it’s highlighting the sexual life of Captain Polish, but it’s definitely not for kids).

What’s most amazing about this is the tone of the story, clearly Illz has done his homework. You can click here to read the intro. I was lucky enough to read the next section(s) and let me tell you, it gets even better.

*Choose Your Own Adventure books were part of every kid’s reading diet in the late 80′s/early 90′s besides their officially titled series their were also a tons of knock offs. This included a Nintendo series and I’ve also even seen an Indiana Jones Choose Your Own Adventure book.


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Pastime
May72009

Random Pastime Moment of the Day!

Ten years ago / In 1972, a crack commando unit was sent to prison by a military court for a crime they didn’t commit. These men promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Los Angeles underground. Today, still wanted by the government, they survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire… The A-Team.

ateam Random Pastime Moment of the Day!

I think its appropriate that we here at TCM honor the fab 4 that was the A-Team. Col. John “Hannibal” Smith, Lt. Templeton “Faceman” Peck, Capt. H.M. “Howling Mad” Murdock and everyone’s favorite, Sgt. B.A. “Bad Attitude” Baracus.

The A-Team was a staple in every young boy’s life in the mid-80′s. Unless you were a douchebag. For those who don’t know the concept of this show, let me quickly break it down for you. During the Vietnam War, these 4 were assembled by Colonel Morrison to rob a Vietnamese bank to bring the war to an end. They succeeded in their mission, but upon returning to base everyone was dead including the Colonel. So, them robbing of the bank was never known to be a “legal” mission. So, all 4 were arrested and sent to prison. But before their court date, they escaped and an amazing television show ensued.

Colonel John Smith, better known as Hannibal was the leader of the bunch. Besides being a cigar smoking, smooth, MacGuyver thinking leader he was a Sea Monster. I know, it makes absolutely no sense. Lt. Templeton “Faceman” Peck was the pretty boy of the group. He always got with the womens’ and always seemed to con his way in to getting what he needed to kick ass. Capt. H.M. “Howling Mad” Murdock was out of his goddamn mind. Nuff said about that. Sgt. B.A. “Bad Attitude” Baracus was the muscle and wheelman. He drove the greatest van in the history of vans. The GMC Vandura was a pimped out badass machine that could fly like an 80 pound crack whore in a category 5 hurricane.

No one could stop or catch the A-Team as much as they tried. They could get out of any situation. If you gave them an empty roll of paper towels, a few thumb tacks and 2 training wheels from a bicycle, they could make an armor plated tank. MacGuyver eat your friggen heart out. Also, for as many bullets that were shot during the show’s tenure, amazingly none hit any of the A-Team members. Either they were secretly invincible or their enemies just had horrible horrible aim. I’m gonna go with the invincible answer. I mean come on…B.A. being shot and killed? Just is not going to happen.

So, this brings us to present time. An A-Team movie has been approved by studios and will hopefully begin filming soon for a 2010 release date. No word on who is playing who. But here is what us at TCM would hope who plays who:

Hannibal will be played by Bruce Willis.
Face will be played by Jason Statham.
Murdoch will be played by Steven Weber.
BA will be played by Mr T. No one else can fill this spot except Mr T.

If any of you disagree with me or have other suggestions, let us know by commenting below. I will leave it off with the theme of this show that should be our national anthem.

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Pastime, Video
Mar182009

Pastime Moment of the Day!

6a00cdf7f331e1094f00f48cdf8d5c0002 320pi Pastime Moment of the Day!Today boys and girls, we are going to go back in time and talk about the nauseating toy called Skip It. This toy had 2 uses. First, it was used the way it was supposed to be used for, skipping and looking like you were having a seizure. Second, as a weapon. We will get back to the 2nd use in a second. For now we will discuss the insanity of this toy.

Ok, you take it out of the box, you are super excited, you put it on your ankle…now what? O, swing it around and jump up so it doesn’t slam into your ankle. Make sure all pets and grandparents are out of your way. And if you bought one of the older ones, a counter was installed. We need Skip It to make a mega comeback so the kids don’t look like this ball of fun. Childhood obesity is hilarious.

Now, if any of you were as smart as us, you would have used this toy as a weapon. It made a perfect battle mace. The ring for a grip, flexible plastic to swing, and the heavy duty end piece for the mace head. Mind you, if you got a good blow in with this toy, it certainly knocked out your opponent but also shattered into pieces. You certainly had some explaining to do as to why the mailman was knocked out bleeding from the head and your sister’s toy broken into a thousand bits.





Pastime
Mar42009

Nutball

TCM came across the game from an episode of Jackass. In the episode, the gang sits round in a circle and throw a racquetball at each other’s nutsack. The person who can withstand the pain the longest, (which was Steveo) wins.

Well, this sounds damn painful and decreases the chances of procreation, so the team here at TCM, we made a few edits…

Nutball: the Game
Ages 18 & up
Recommended after hours of drinking

Nutball is a game played one-on-one or in teams of two. The object of the game is to kick a ball and hit the opposing player in the nuts with it.

picture 492 Nutball

We know what you’re thinking…that would hurt more than a getting hit with a racquetball in the nuts…well, no shit, that’s why you’re allowed to use your hands to cover up.

picture 495 Nutball

The Nutball: the size, type, and style of ball you use is completely us to you, but TCM promotes using the official nutball – a combination tennis/soccerball.  You can probably find this at some store near your home or try Amazon.  Hell, they might even put a link in the ad’s TCM has rocking on these pages.

The Space: after you have the ball, you need space.  TCM suggests a long hallway or somewhere narrow and confined.  Make sure there are no windows.  Accidents can and probably will happen, especially after many beers:

picture 150 Nutball

OK.  So now you’ve got your official nutball and your space.  Now you are ready to play.

Rules:
1. There are no rules. These are more like guidelines.
2. You can kick or throw the nutball as hard as you can. But the harder you kick or throw it, the harder it will come back at you when its your turn.
2. You keep score like a baseball game – the game of Nutball is played by innings with 3 outs for each team.
3. Every strike in the nuts, is a run.
4. Team with the most runs after 9 innings wins.
5. You or your opponent should try to find someway to protect your nuts. TCM suggests the old soccer-style nut clasp. It’s still going to hurt like a bitch when you are hit, but it takes away the pain.
6. You can also wear other protective gear, but the more gear you wear, the more man points your buddies can deduct from your count.

Usually by the 5th inning, someone is ready to quit or ice their balls and the game ends.  That’s why TCM suggests doing this when highly wasted.

Last we hear, Nutball is beginning to take off in parts of India and Sri Lanka.  We don’t know why, but we’re pretty stoked to make that report.


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Pastime
Mar32009

Random Pastime Moment of the Day

Throughout the years, shoes have shaped our lives. From elementary school  to the high school days, there has always been a pair that has stood out like a hot chick at a Sunday afternoon open bar. This one is in regards to the ultimate TMNT Payless Pair.

Plus: Payless found a way to make kids not care they didn’t have the swoosh on their shoes or the pump on the tongue, because they had Michelangelo, the ultimate hero. By wearing these shoes kids had the next best thing to living the life. Yes, the eating pizza, throwing slices, swinging nun chucks, protecting New York City life from Shredder, getting to first base with April kind of life.  If only the shoes were made slightly better, there wouldn’t have been so many twisted ankles as the turtles battled the Foot on the swing sets. Well worth the battles.

Drawback: There will most likely not be more than one owner per class and the owner of these shoes will become highly recognizable, especially in the lower space of the bathroom stall. Everyone will quickly know about the poop that took place and will tell the rest of the class. Torment for the remainder of the day. Well worth the torment.

Present Day Version:

159d 1 Random Pastime Moment of the Day


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Drinking, Pastime
Feb182009

Random Pastime Moment of the Day!

What the fuck happened to Ecto Cooler!?

You know that green colored, orange flavored drink of amazingness?  Yea, what happened?  Well apparently the whores over at Hi-C decided to take Slimer off of the package an replace it with a pair of green juice lips.  SOURCE.

ectovenkman Random Pastime Moment of the Day!

I remember going to the supermarket with my mom and covertly slipping the cooler into the shopping cart only for her to discover it at the checkout line.  Too late to put it back, so she has to buy it.  Big mistake on her part.  I would go home and dress up in my Ghostbuster get-up and drink the whole friggen 12 pack in one sitting.  After that much cooler gets ingested by a 10 year old, shit is about the go off.  Ghosts would then be real, and I’d be chasing them all over the house.

Imagine being the parent sitting there watching your kid go absolutely ape shit over trying to catch your dog thinking it was a ghost.  Believe me kid, that dog ain’t gonna fit into the trap.  Its been attempted before.

You always wondered as a youngan, how was the drink green and it tasted orange?  Well simple answer really.  Food dye, dumbass.  But you can’t really blame the youth for wondering.  Hell, it could have been Slimer jizz for all we cared about, and we still would have drank that shit.

What does today’s youth have to drink?  Granted Hawaiian Punch and Kool-Aid are still in business, but they do not have anything nearly as cool or as exciting as Ecto-Cooler.  I say all of us who remember and loved this drink of greatness, get on our horses, and write to Mr. Hi-C and demand they bring back Slimer.

You will also notice that Ecto-Cooler is never mentioned as a juice.  It was DRINK.  I could quote Mr. Chappelle here, but some of you might be offended, so I’ll leave it up to you to “Insert Quote Here”.


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Pastime, Random
Feb152009

Random Pastime Moment of the Day!

Don't Wake Daddy

As a kid, you accept the games around the house, mainly ones your parents thought would be acceptable time passers. Trouble, Connect Four, or Checkers were probably three of the more common place board games. Mousetrap and Chutes and Ladders also had a place in the house.

Then there were the games you thought were fun but when looked back upon bring up quite a few questions. Don’t Wake Daddy gets the nod in today’s Pastime of the Day. For a few reasons, one being that this game was awesome. Two is that you never really questioned why you didn’t want to wake daddy except that you lose. Was daddy just home from the bar, drunk, and needed his rest? If you woke him was he going to beat mommy? Was he going to make you do your homework? I believe the creator of this infamous game had a dad that did not want to be woken, for if he did wake his dad, he ended up with a black eye, before being shipped off to military school. Oh but, he got his revenge! This game became a multi-million dollar hit! Now, if only they made a sequal with a spring releasing fist to make the loser truly walk away the loser.


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Pastime, Random
Feb132009

Random Pastime Moment Of The Day!

snowman 170x300 Random Pastime Moment Of The Day!

To better allow our viewing audience to understand the writers of  TCM are in fact, literate, I dedicate the first random pastime moment to a book. Possibly one of the greatest series ever created. I will say it, better than goosebumps. Because you choose the ending. Now only if the pope realized this is how to engulf readers. Everyone would be reading the bible, if you turn to page 10 you get to adulturate the neighbors wife, get laid, and go to hell. If you turn to page 23 you save a cat from a burning tree and go to heaven. Best part about it, story resets next week anyway. So when you get old, always save the cat from the tree. You’ll be golden.


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