Plenty. Well, let’s see…douchebags, Ke$ha, yeast infections, getting a boner in public and so fourth. This list could go on. But luckily for you there definitely are worse things wrong with this world. This website definitely shows you what is wrong with the world in a very, let’s say, straight forward way.
This website was a little more “polite” about asking that question. It was more along the lines of “How much would someone pay you to vote for Sarah Palin?”. I thought that question was stupid so I asked myself how much would someone pay me to have sex with Sarah Palin. After a few minutes of contemplating I said nothing. I would do it for free with a huge grin on my face. Just picture that.
That’s pretty much all this website is. It asks you questions like, “How much would someone have to pay you to eat dog crap?” Naturally Captain Flintheart answered .76¢. I’m honestly surprised, I thought he would have said less. Another fun one is, “How much would someone have to pay you to spend 24 hours with Charlie Sheen?” Unfortunately you can only answer in dollars and not pints of Tiger Blood. Oh well, I’d pay a few bucks to be able to hang out with someone who in his mind, is constantly winning. Wouldn’t you? Oh yea, you already do by reading TCM.
I think we can all appreciate the dumbness of a cat just as much as we can appreciate the hand bra. Well, maybe not as much as the hand bra.
When I first saw that headline, I couldn’t believe that it had nothing to do with either zombies or Captain Polish’s cocaine bender from a few months ago. Not to mention that it was actually from the New York Daily News and not the Onion. Goddamn, this beautiful woman was fucking hungry.
The exact transcript below has been lifted from the Daily News article and presented to TCM readers in all it’s glory.
Police released this mugshot of Natasha Hubbard, accused of attacking a stranger’s infant baby in downtown Los Angeles last week.
LOS ANGELES – A crazed woman randomly snatched an infant from a stroller, slammed the baby into a pole and later said she was trying to break the baby’s arm off “so she could eat it,” Los Angeles cops said Wednesday.
Prosecutors have charged Natasha Hubbard, 36, with aggravated assault and released her photo believing she may have other victims from her wild rampage in downtown Los Angeles last Thursday.
The terrifying incident with the 4-month-old boy took place in a crowded shopping district packed with families, police said.
Detectives said mom Adriana Miranda, 29, was pushing her infant son Alexander in his stroller when Hubbard unbelted the child and grabbed him by the leg.
Witnesses said Hubbard then swung the baby over her head and slammed him into a metal rail of a nearby truck as the mom and the baby’s aunt watched in horror, police said.
The mother and aunt fought off the woman, with the suspect clawing at Miranda as she clutched the baby boy in her arms, police said.
Arriving officers were able to locate Hubbard with the help of witnesses who pointed her out.
She’s now in jail with bail set at $55,000.
Hubbard told detectives that she tried to break off the baby’s arm so she could eat it, police said.
The tiny victim received bruises and scratches as a result of the attack.
If you’ve read in the past, I hate green beer. It’s dumb. Now you all can know the origins of this 1 day only drink.
And yes, it’s exactly like how egg nog is elf cum.
In case you didn’t get the gist of the film from the trailer, it is a rogue tire named Robert that has telekinesis powers which allows him the ability to make people’s heads explode. And yes, it’s real.
Ah, the good ol’ days. Sitting on your smelly, alcohol infused couch up at school watching re-runs of Jeopardy trying to guess the questions but not even coming close to the proper answers.
“Sometimes considered America’s hat.”
“What is Mexico.”
“No, I’m sorry. That would be correct if we asked, ‘sometimes considered America’s stinky penis.’”
What? You didn’t do that? Oh, well I’m sure you have all seen an episode or 2 of Jeopardy before. There is a time during the show when Alex Trebek introduces and interviews the contestants. This website is exactly like that, but fake. They have come up with some golden interview introductions, some of which I have actually been asked before. Very much like these:
“I read that you recently held a seance to communicate with your dead cat. Tell me, Edith, what did Sir Fluffyface have to say from beyond the grave?”
“Ben, I hear your kids have a hilarious nickname for your wooden leg.”
“Tony, your wife tells us you sit down to pee.”
“It says here that Dayton, Ohio resident Mark Shields adds a “special ingredient” to Kraft macaroni and cheese, much to the delight of his family. Mark?”
“And here we have a story about a duck, a couch and some roller skates. Brenda?”
