If there is one thing we know, it’s that Flintheart loves himself some Saved By The Bell. Well, he’s just discovered his new favorite website, Zack Morris Cell Phone. The only thing this website does is chronicle moments in episodes where the cast busts out Zack’s world famous 1990 cell phone.
Need some examples?
Ahhh, nostalgia.
Hell yes, this exists. Someone created an RPG game based on Saved by The Bell set up like a choose your own adventure novel. Each decision you make links to another YouTube screen.
This game is proof that Saved By The Bell will never die.
Thanks to Doug for passing this along.
Recently, another epic debate has been brewing inside the offices of TCM. This time though, we need your help to determine which is the single greatest theme song to grace the opening credits of Saved By The Bell. Good Morning Miss Bliss, has been disqualified for the fact that it’s not truly Saved By The Bell and also that it is a shit sandwich the likes of which the world hasn’t seen repeated for quite some time. Same goes for Saved By The Bell: The New Class. What we do have is the oh, so classic 80′s version of the original series which may in fact define that style of show’s theme song for years to come.
On the other hand we have Saved By The Bell: The College Years, a more “rocking” theme song steeped in the early 1990′s and the transition to adulthood.
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Which overtly gay theme song beats out the other? Let us know.
Thanks to Mr. Zack for stirring up the beginnings of this debate in a soccer article.
Ah yes, the infamous dance when the women ask the guys. Does such a thing actually exist? Further more, who the fuck is Sadie Hawkins?
Growing up I had seen this as premise on mutiple tv sitcoms (who could forget the Saved By The Bell episode where Zack so desperatley wanted Kelly to ask him to the dance that he uses subliminal messages to brainwash her and his scheme goes awry). I’m sure their is a Wonder Years episode featuring this, Full House, Family ties etc. But my school never did this and neither did anyone elses that I’ve ever asked. Maybe it did happen in the 50′s and 60′s but if that’s the case why do sitcoms continue to use this outdated social situation as concept to base an episode around?
This isn’t a post about girls from my 5th grade class that you never heard of. In fact these are celebrities (almost all tv related actually) that my boyhood self had crushes on from roughly the years 1989-1997 …give or take a year or two. I actually found this post pretty difficult and creepy to write about. Never the less, I hope you enjoy it and that is spurs some good comments.
(Note: In most cases I tried to get pictures of said “crush” straight from the era the show took place)
10 – DJ & Stephanie Tanner (Full House)
Once DJ got into mid high school era things started to fall into place for her and she maintained a level of attractiveness until the show ended. Stephanie didn’t really make it happen until Full House was in it’s last season. In theory I would never say these ladies were hot. Yet they were cute in a kind of non threatening bring home to mom type of way.
What is more inspiring than friends? How about friendships that last forever? Now, what if said topics were put into song form and performed by a band called Zack Attack? How could that not give you a new lease on life?
Alright, well at least just watch it to see Kapowski work it.
Yes, we realize it’s more than a month old (thus making it not current), but TCM pledges undying love for Saved By The Bell. Besides, it’s nice to have Zack Morris back tying up loose ends and letting us know all about what happened to Kelly Kapowski.
Oh, Tiffani-Amber Thiessen what boy growing up didn’t have a crush on you? With TBS still showing 3 hour blocks of Saved By The Bell this trend could still be continuing today. We all know that Bayside High School is possibly the most unrealistic portrayal of High School ever put on TV, but what was going on after school when the cameras weren’t rolling? Why the fuck did we never get to see Slater’s bedroom either? How many steroid bottles and male escort corpses was he hiding in there?
But let’s get back to the matter at hand, Kelly Kapowski’s sexual prowess. Here at TCM we have discussed this at length and have devised a theory. During the early stages of Kelly and Zack’s courtship, despite Zack’s best efforts Kapowksi had a no trespassing sign on her vag blocking all incoming vehicles. She kept that shit PG, she’s just too nice a girl. You saw her give away her hard earned prom money to her Dad after he lost his job. That greedy fuck took it too! I don’t give a damn if he’s got 7 children to feed, that shit is fucked up. You know a girl like that isn’t going to tarnish her good name by submitting to Zack Morris’ conquest.
Fast forward a few years to when Kelly dumps Zack for the good looking, older, new manager of the Max, Jeff. First of all kudos to Jeff for not just being able to manage a restaurant and be a college student, but to pick one where all the High School kids (girls) hang out. Jeff being big man on campus ain’t putting up with only some cheap, heavy petting. Kelly steadfastly refusing to give it up is why he gets caught cheating on her at the “Attic” (an over 18 dance club) with a random hot blonde. Jeff knew if he could wear Kelly down in due time she would be all his and he would obtain the much coveted “trophy box”. She of course breaks up with Jeff after being humiliated.
This completely changes Kelly’s perception of Zack. While they go on to date other people (notably Zack almost banging Jessie and definitely succeeding with Lisa and Torri) Kelly knows Zack loves her and concedes to lose her virginity to him, possibly in Palm Springs at Jessie’s father’s wedding.
By the time they graduate and move onto college, Kelly spent most of her first semester at community college catching up on lost time and banging part time mechanics, dudes wearing flannel and going to Gin Blossom concerts. When she finally meets up with the gang at college she is a raving slut. Witness the episode of the College Years where she works at the Hooters esque restaurant and sluts her shit out. Or the continual plowing of her by her Anthropology professor, Jeremiah Lasky (can we say daddy complex?) while Zack helplessly looked on. Sure, Zack eventually succeeds in locking her vagina down, but in the mean time he walked a long sexless road with her to get there.
