So it is finally October, which means 3 things. Some awesome TV, girls dressing up like slutty nurses, slutty police officers, and the always popular slutty clown and finally probably the greatest reason of all, Oktoberfest. Here at TCM we pretty much ditch everything else in life this month and drink beer till we become retarded. Since we already are pretty retarded, we just drink a lot of beer. But is drinking beer the only thing to do to celebrate Oktoberfest? I honestly don’t know, but here at TCM we are going to let you in on some things to do that doesn’t necessarily involve drinking beer but a majority of the time they do.

Go out and hook up with an Oktoberfest girl

Let me put it this way, a majority of people that are at Oktoberfest are men. There is no doubt about that. The women who are there are probably with another man, a group of her girlfriends or work for a beer company and are paid to look hot and flirt with your fat ass so you’ll buy more beer. So let’s leave out the women who are with another man and the “beer girls” because lets be honest, you absolutely have no shot at them. You do have a shot at the girl in a group of girls, a small shot, but one nonetheless. To be safe let’s eliminate the hotter ones from the group because you aren’t getting them either. Sorry. They’d much rather eat local sausage than see what you’ve got packing underneath those lederhosen. This then leaves the absurdly drunk girl who is currently trying to make out with the keg and the overly fat girl who has drank more beer and ate more sausage in the past 15 minutes than you ever will in your entire life. You have no chance against the keg. Albeit, not many men do. So you are left with Chunkasaurus. What do you do? Unfortunately there are very little options if you truly want to hook up at Oktoberfest and aren’t the Mayor of Munich or Brad Pitt. It boils down to the two major options being, you can go with Beer McFats or your hand. Honestly if it was me, I’d try and make a threesome out of the absurdly drunk girl and the keg. Just watch for splinters.

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