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Memos Tagged Shitty Music


Jun92010

The Begining Of The End For MTV….Jesse Camp

Remember this tool shack?

jesse camp launch full The Begining Of The End For MTV....Jesse Camp

If you don’t than consider yourself lucky. Way back in 1998, this waste of flesh won the MTV contest, “Wanna Be A VJ?” He beat out Dave Holmes..whom you may know now from FX’s DVD on TV. Holmes at least for starters is a human being with an everyday man persona that is quasi likable. I’m not sure what sewer tunnel or what used up trashy uterus that a had one night stand with Steven Tyler’s guitar tech’s brother that this mother fucker crawled out of, but he definitely should get back inside it. He was on MTV all the fucking time that year, you just couldn’t get away from him. How did this ever get allowed to happen!?!?

Oh, but it gets worse.

MTV let him record an album. Just to prep yourself TCM has included this review from the website, www.allmusic.com who is pretty straight forward and unbiased when it comes to their music reviews:

There may be more irritating fringe figures in the history of rock & roll, but none are worse than Jesse Camp. A spoiled suburban rich kid who decided that acting as if he were mentally retarded would be wickedly funny, Camp rode MTV’s manipulations into quasi-stardom, including such ridiculous highlights as gracing the cover of Spin magazine. Since he had wormed his way into celebrity, only one thing was left — have him produce something of substance that would sustain his fame. Hence, a recording contract and his debut album, Jesse & the 8th Street Kidz, a record that sounds as if it was released in 1989. Yes, Camp is keeping the hair metal flame burning in the nine-nine, complete with big, stupid hooks and big, stupid lyrics about “Wasted Youth,” “Griftin’,” “Sloppy Kisses,” and “Summertime Squatters.” He never turns the volume down, slowing a little bit for a power ballad with Stevie Nicks on “My Little Saviour” (which of course begs the question, what exactly did Nicks do to deserve this kind of punishment?). At times, the music is catchy, but most of the time it’s simply irritating, since Camp’s singing is every bit as grating as his persona. Perhaps this is just one big joke or perhaps Camp’s love of pop-metal is ironic, but it doesn’t change the fact that this record is unbearable.

Score another one for MTV!



Apr222010

Proof Of The Worst Band In The World

As if you needed proof..

Creed Proof Of The Worst Band In The World

Think it’s fake? Try for yourselves.



Mar312010

Forgotten Song Of The Moment

Remember this gem? If you don’t, get ready. We are going back to the 1980′s when very little good music was made. Your tour guides are Eddie Murphy and Rick James. Here you will witness a reoccurring error made by many talented actors/celebrities, just because you are famous doesn’t mean you have the ability to sing.

Get the Flash Player to see this content.



Mar252010

Top 10 Dumbest Ke$ha Lyrics

Kesha Top 10 Dumbest Ke$ha Lyrics

Who would have thought that someone who spells their name with a ”$” instead of the letter “S” would have a less than stellar grasp on the English language? The last one I can remember was, Ma$e and boy who can forget the time he won the Pulitzer Prize?

TCM didn’t compile this list, but we wish we did. (Although, that would mean having to listen to all of the songs or at the very least read the lyrics to the entire album…and I wouldn’t wish that upon my worst enemy).

The Top Ten Dumbest Ke$ha Lyrics



Mar222010

Two Noble Causes

Ordinarily when the Captains devote an article to Facebook it usually entails a rant about how much we despise it. This time however, we’ve found something worthy of praise. Recently, two groups have been brought to our attention that are both epic in scope and important corner stones of the modern civilization we inhabit.

pickle nickelback music news feature lead Two Noble Causes

The first group is titled, Can This Pickle Get More Fans Than Nickelback. If you like the music of Nickelback please exit this website immediately and never ever come back. Seriously, please go fuck yourself. They are the worst thing to come out of Canada since Alex Trabeck. Join this group and prove that an inanimate object is both more talented and has more appeal to normal humans than Nickelback ever will.

The second group is, My Sister Said If I Get One Million Fans She Will Name Her Baby Megatron. That’s right, Megatron from fucking Transformers. Why wouldn’t you want to help make this a reality? This is nothing short of glorious.

Megatronguido Two Noble Causes

TCM doesn’t ask our readership for much. But if you have a soul you will help contribute to these noble causes.



Mar82010

The Worst Thing To Happen To Music In A Long Time

If your a regular TCM reader, you will know that I have expressed apprehension with the up in coming generation. Whether it be the fact that their lives are run by cell phones and facebook or that they are showing no respect to the loose jeans revolution veterans and rocking tight ciruclationless jeans, oh and don’t get me started on the stupid haircuts.  Now I’ve found something much worse and apparently her name is Ke$ha (and yes the $ is suppose to be there).

kesha The Worst Thing To Happen To Music In A Long Time

When a generation of teenagers comes into adulthood they begin to grow resentful of the younger generations claiming they can’t understand their new interests, the fashion trends, the music etc. This is all true and obviously I am no different. When it comes to music though, sometimes I can see why a certain band will become popular or revered by the youth even if I deem them as god awful. Well this is where that line is drawn.

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