Arcades these days are either non-existent or full of weird virtual reality games. Have you ever seen the one where you kick the soccer ball on a string? Do you REALLY want to pay money for that? I wanted to highlight a game that I spent more allowances on that any game ever, I’m talking about the X-Men Arcade game.

This game allows 6 players to play at once (or 4 depending on which console your local Arcade had). It includes 4 great characters, Nightcrawler, Cyclops, Wolverine, and Colossus and 2 of the pussiest characters in video game history, Storm and the Dazzler. I guess Storm is ok, but the Dazzler…really? You couldn’t have chosen any other character? To make it worse she really is piss poor in the game too. Anyway, you just beat up and destroy a lot of shit; it’s got great villains too. Oh, and I guess Professor Xavier got kidnapped by Magneto, but do you really care? 6 fucking people can play at once! Need I say more?

The other game I’d like to highlight is the Simpson’s arcade game. Does anyone remember the time when Fox mass marketed the shit out of that show? I had Simpson’s bed sheets and my brother had a Bart shirt that said, “Don’t Have a Cow Man” (Yawn). This game was easily the best thing to be merchandized by them. You can play as Bart, Homer, Lisa and Marge all of whom (except Homer) use house hold items as weapons. Maggie has been kidnapped (sound familiar?). Basically, you travel all around Springfield beating people to death and there are bonus rounds after each level where compete against the other players. What could be better? This game is a stone cold classic. If anyone has ever played either of the Simpson’s games for Nintendo, you will understand why this arcade game is being praised.

If either of these games were ported to a home video game system they would have a made a killing. Alas, you can now only find them in run down Arcades or Arcades that cater to retro games.

Honorable mention: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle (the arcade version)