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Memos Tagged Sports


Mar282010

Cheeseburger Fight Turns Ugly

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I consider myself fan of mixed martial arts and the UFC, but after watching this i might have to reconsider. This fight happened at a Whataburger somewhere in the deep South. Basically a drunken hillbilly in a Tapout shirt can’t get a cheeseburger and takes it out on the restaurant staff and patrons. After trying to attack a man sitting down (1:52), he’s exposed in a few different ways. The moral here may be not to pick on people if you can’t fight your way out of a paper bag. It might also include remembering to wear some fucking underwear. As the one commenter says at the end of the video, “Only in America!”

Originally by Captain Fuerza.


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Sep262009

Lingerie Football League Trailer – Get Excited

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Sep42009

Top 10 People That Suck At Life

You all have been waiting for something like this…I know. So TCM is going to deliver. And deliver big. I could go on explaining this, but I can tell you are already anxious to see what we have.

#10 – The Sorority Slore

10 Top 10 People That Suck At Life

The sorority slore. I am sure many people reading this that have been to a college has seen them strutting their geek (not a misspell) letters around campus. Some of them are quite hot, there is no question about it–which is why they are high up on the list. The reason they are on this list is because of the absurd, fake and whoreish life they live. You will never see a lone sorority girl. When you see one, you will know at least 15 of them aren’t too far behind all wearing the same clothes. It’s funny because they are all supposed to be “best friends” even if 12 of them have slept with your boyfriend several times. I could honestly go on, and I have. Go here to see more on this fascinating creature.

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Jul212009

Read this book!

Here at TCM we are big supporters of the arts and one of those arts is reading. No, we don’t want you to run out and buy the War and Peace written by some half-crazed Russian nor will we force you to read the Harry Potter series, but we will try to point out must read’s when we come across them form time to time.

For starters, here’s a book that will make you laugh, cry, and shit your pants all at the same time. I’m talking about none other than I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell by Tucker Max.

tucker max Read this book!

The book knocked me on my ass when reading it. It’s written by a guy that is a self proclaimed asshole whose slept with more women than Charlie Sheen, puked more times than a fat kid at Chuck E Cheese, and has been legally drunk for the past 12 years.

This book is a must for any young gent whose trying to find his way in the world and looking to make some stories in the process. On the flip side, this book is a good read for any young women who is into self help books for dating – this will more or less tell you what men are thinking at any given moment.

It’s pretty much fun for all ages.



May182009

ANNOUNCING THE BEST SPORT EVER

We are fans of Pepperoni Pizza, Mountain Bikes, Fat Chicks On Little Scooters (well Captain Yar is), People Falling, Trampolines, Sports, Beer and Boobs.

Yes, we are men.

In the beginning we were hunters and gatherers.

We still are. But in a civilized world, where do we go while the wives cook?

THE LINGERIE FOOTBALL LEAGUE! – Half-naked women and football. Does it get any better than that?

alg euphoria lingerie ANNOUNCING THE BEST SPORT EVER

What was once just a Pay-Per-View stunt – beautiful women running around in uniforms that would make Victoria Secret models blush – trying to compete with the bland, politically correct halftime show of the Super Bowl is now being turned into a 10-team league that will debut in the fall of 2009.

The new Lingerie Football League (LFL) – with women playing full-contact football in helmets, sports bras and panties – will feature a two conference format. The Atlanta Steam, Chicago Bliss, Miami Caliente, New England Euphoria and the Tampa Breeze will compete in the Eastern Conference. The Western Conference features the Dallas Desire, Los Angeles Temptation, Phoenix Scorch, San Diego Seduction and the Seattle Mist.

l 4cae08968d6918f3d43542557c0a1b6d2 ANNOUNCING THE BEST SPORT EVER

And after pulling one of ten names from a hat, we are now fans of……….

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The New York Majesty! And will be following them all season long. Now we know this team is not listed above but since tryouts are occurring, we’re going to be fans. And since TCM is incorporated in NY, we figured some publicity may get us some free front row seats to the best action to occur in Nassau Coliseum since the 1980′s. (We didn’t really pull a name out of any hat)

Stay Tuned.

More tryout news



Mar302009

The History of Sport Fan Signs

Who’s idea was it to bring a sign to a sporting event? After doing some research, it dates back to Ancient Roman times. It appears that fans wanted their favorite gladiators to hear what they were thinking. In a crowd of 30,000 that is quite tough to get across what you are trying to say. So a man by the name of Captineous Yar and his pals Kirkeous and Polish decided it would be a good idea to get some paper and write what they wanted to say. We actually have a photo of that very first sign which can be seen here. Little did they know that they would soon start a cultural phenomenon. Everyone saw their sign and said to themselves, why the hell don’t we do that? Soon everyone was writing their words on big pieces of paper.

This continued for centuries until the Roman Empire fell. People realized that these signs could be used for other uses rather then just at sporting events. On the ancient battlefields when armies were standing across from one another, they would have signs in order to talk shit about each other. Such comments seen were, “After killing you and your soldiers, I will personally shit in each of your mouths.” Such a comment gathered this response, “O yea!? I just raped your dog to get all fired up to chop your head off!” These of course are more extreme cases but you can get the idea of how these signs were used.

hockeysign The History of Sport Fan Signs

Side Note: If you think about it, Pirates technically used their flags as signs…a sign that basically said I’m Gonna Kick Your Ass.

So, this brings us to current day signage at events. Today, people are more green about their use of signs. Instead of wasting paper they just paint themselves with their teams colors, or gather a few friends and paint letters on their chests. This is good and all but sometimes it is unclear as to what they are trying to spell. You have people asking, “Is that a lower case E or a J? I can’t tell because that guys tits are covering the top of the letter!” Some people should just stick to signs and keep their shirts on.

At TCM, we salute the men who invented signs seen at sporting events. It’s a great way to express your feelings. Whether they be happy, angry or sad feelings, let the world know how you feel. So go ahead, grab that piece of oak tag, your sharpie and start writing, you modern day Shakespeare. There are never enough ways to spell out ESPN because Every Special Person Needs attention.


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Mar52009

You Won! Wait…no you didn’t.

I’m sure we all saw this and has been posted on every humor blog out there, but for those who only visit this site this is quite entertaining.

This kid just got douched on by his friend:



Feb162009

The race for last

As a sports fan, no fan roots for their team to come in dead last. I my friends am an exception. I am a New York Islanders fan, and I hope they come in 30th place this year. Why you ask? Because of this kid.

But as all of us Islander fans know, if we do come in last, our first place spot in the draft is not secure by any means.  May I remind us of the 2008 draft?  We started at 5th, traded down to 7th, then traded down to 9th.  Josh Bailey though looks like he can be some good in a few years, which is what Mr. Snow is going for.  Patience is key in this time of pain.

For many Islander fans who read this, you are not going to find any new information that you already don’t know.  I’m just stating some opinions.  If we do get John Tavares, will he be a douche like Kirk Muller and not want to play on the Islanders?  Mind you that Captain Kirk was already an established player in the NHL and did have quite a chip on his shoulder.  Since Tavares being established and awesome in the OHL, will he carry a similar chip?  One tends to think not (or one tends to HOPE not).  But remind you, that being 18, you cannot really be picky about what teams you want to play for.  Just be thankful you qualify to play in the NHL.  All hockey fans, or any sport fans for that matter, you have always thought about playing in the big leagues for your favorite team.  But if it honestly came down to it, does it really matter what team you are playing for, when A, you are probably making over a few million a year, and B, your in the fucking majors.  You can’t get any better than that.  I do have to make a minor comment on that past statement however.  I fucking HATE the Rangers (or the Ranjerks, whatever you want to call them), but if I was drafted by them, I wouldn’t complain…sure, I’d think to myself, wow my friends are gonna hate my ass but I’d live with it.  I’d be playing in the greatest city known to man with some pretty hardcore fans that I know will show up (ouch).  Mind you, I am not a fan of Ranger fans either, but I do have a few friends who are Ranger fans, and I’ve lived with them this far.  I’m not saying Tavares hates the Islanders like I hate the Rangers.  If I’m not mistaken, he is a Leafs fan, and should hate the Habs.  But if by some miracle, he gets drafted or traded to the Canadiens, he won’t complain.

If we do draft Tavares, could he be the saving grace we have been waiting for?  Could he be the make or break with the approval of the Lighthouse?  Come June 26 we will hopefully see.  Lets hope the draft pans out like this.

Well, let me post the bottom 5 teams as of 2/16/09.

Div. GP W L OT Pts Streak
26 NE 56 21 25 10 52 Won 1
27 NE 54 21 25 8 50 Won 4
28 SE 56 19 26 11 49 Lost 1
29 SE 57 20 32 5 45 Won 1
30 ATL 55 16 33 6 38 Lost 5

Lets Go Islanders!

On a side note…that shithead Steve Simmons over at the Toronto Sun saying Tavares should avoid the Islanders, here’s some quality material for you to write about:  Go Fist Yourself.


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