Garbage goes in a garbage can. Goes without saying, right?
Wrong.
Every trash collection day a few people on my street just throw their mountain of garbage bags out on the curb. I’m talking like 8 or 9 bags of hot steaming garbage. Not only is that gross and dirty but it also looks scummy as all hell. Seriously, just bite the bullet and pony up the dough for a few barrels.(Spoiler Alert: You can fit more than one trash bag in a barrel!)
Why did they select February to celebrate Black History Month? Did anyone realize that February is the shortest month of the year? Did they also realize that February is the coldest month of the year? If I was the man in charge of selecting what month to go with, I’d have gone with August.
Well whatever the reason, hope you had a happy Black History Month.
If your in a situation your going through 2 sets of doors almost back to back and the person in front of you holds the door each time, is one thank you sufficent? Or do you have to thank them for each seperate door held?
We’re all familiar with the conversation starter. If you’re not, it’s typically a funny joke, a witty remark, or a simple “hi, how are you” will do the trick. Starting conversations and meeting people is really easy if you follow three steps my uncle told me about twelve years ago: (1) greet, (2) meet, and (3) establish common ground. One thing he didn’t tell me is how to end conversations. Well, it’s a good thing that you read TCM where we’re here to share our secret with you. Indeed.
That was it. Indeed. Indeed ends every conversation and allows you to walk away. It shuts down the other person and more or less tells them politely that you really don’t want to talk to them anymore. Here’s some examples of how you can use it:
Girlfriend/Wife: …and then Suzy started telling Jane blah blah blah (you get the point)….was I right to do that?
You: Indeed.
Girlfriend/Wife: Ohh thanks for listening hun!
Boss: Sean, you know what I’m talking about, right?
Sean: Indeed.
Boss: That’s the ticket.
Buddy 1: Yeah so I’m sure Favre will come back, but I want to go with Schaub. He’s a better all around athelete. What do you think?
Buddy 2: Indeed.
Buddy 1: My thoughts exactly.
You think I’m kidding? Start throwing this word around and you’ll be able to stop conversations on a dime. I’ve stopped many boring workplace coffee conversations with this powerful word and now I offer it to you to fend off significant others, friends, bosses, co-workers, and annoying friendly people that are too pleasent and want to tell you their entire life story.
So don’t be afraid to use it! And remember, if it doesn’t work the first time, reuse it!
Indeed.
People are fucking lazy, it’s a proven fact. Why in God’s name do people leaving the shopping carts randomly strewn about in grocery store parking lots? It’s one of my biggest pet peeves ever. You can’t spend an extra 45 seconds wheeling it to one of the 8 different desginated drop off points? I hate you. Yesterday I saw one that was in the parking spot next to the cart corral.
Seriously, what the fuck??
Why is every assassin known by three names? Need examples: John Wilkes Booth, James Earl Ray, Lee Harvey Oswalt, and Mark David Chapman. It’s fairly safe to say that if you have associates that go by three names, you better keep your distance.
While we’re on this topic, check out this Poetry Collage of the Lincoln Assassination. It’s not typically something we’d promote (the Captain’s are anti-assassination – we prefer duels with sabers and pistols), but it’s cool as shit so it’s worth the shout.
Thanks to Christian for sending us the collage.
Why bother dressing nice for work if your going to put on a disgusting old afghan sweater 30 minutes after arriving? For one, it’s fucking June. Two, this ain’t your basement…it’s a place of business. If your going to defy the dress code anyway, why take the time to temporarily look nice? Just come into work in pajama pants and get it over with.
Why is it when you use the term, “my old man” you are referring to your dad? But when you say “my old lady” it means your wife?
That doesn’t make any fucking sense.
