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Memos Tagged Toys


Entertainment, Television, Video
Jun42010

Relive Urkel Mania

You remember Urkel, don’t you? If you were a kid in the early 90′s chances are you probably loved him. If you’ve seen any repeats of Family Matter as an adult you likely have attempted to blow your brains out or at least destroyed your TV in a fit of rage. Only one man can be that annoying and his name is Stephen Urkel. Well, at one point Urkel was a full blow phenomenon…it’s kind of hard to picture now, but it happened. Lord knows it happened.

Remember the talking Urkel doll? It came equipped with so many hilarious catch phrases like, “got any cheeeese??” Observe:

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Or how about Urkel-O’s cereal? I have to admit this one was a new one to me. For the life of me, I don’t remember this ever happening but apparently it did. I guess Mario And Luigi weren’t the only minorities to have a cereal in the 1990′s.

Urkel Os Relive Urkel Mania

Thanks to Shaffer for both mortifying me with this knowledge and bringing it to my attention.


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Pastime, Video
Mar252010

Stretch Armstrong

This needs no introduction. You remember this shit.

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Pastime, Random
Oct202009

Your own personal action figure?

How fucking cool would that be!? You wake up to see your 12 inch self standing on your dresser across the room pointing at your ass telling you to “Wake the fuck up partner”. Most excellent. Then you realize that it’s your mom that’s yelling at you to come downstairs to take out the trash because the garbage men are down the block and you didn’t take the trash out last night so she is waking your ass up to do it this morning. But then you realize you are 27 years old and still taking out your parents trash. Not most excellent.

Anyways, That’s My Face is a website that will perfectly match your face and put it on an action figure or masks or 3D portraits and so fourth.

Out of options for Halloween? Be yourself you creeposaurus! That’s My Face will make a mask out of your face. You know, exactly like Silence of the Lambs, but minus the real skin and blood. The smell of maple syrup and hot dogs may still be there but it’s your face nonetheless.

afh pat v1 300 Your own personal action figure?afh jep v2 crop 300 Your own personal action figure?

I’m still waiting for them to make a life size look-a-like sex doll of myself…then I will seriously consider making a purchase.


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Pastime, Video
Sep182009

Crossfire

The most intense children’s commercial ever

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Pastime, Retro
Sep102009

Kenner Toys: The True Prince Of Thieves

When I was younger, I loved everything about the Robin Hood Prince of Thieves movie with Kevin Costner. My brother had the cassette single for “Everything I Do, I Do It For You”. I even loved the music video that had Bryan Adams rocking out in Sherwood Forest.

One Christmas my parents bought me a handful of Kenner Toys action figures based on the movie (how many people can claim to have Kevin Costner and Morgan Freeman action figures?) I was also given the toy that was the base of operations for Robin Hood and his so called Merry Men in Sherwood Forest. I was however, profoundly pissed.

This toy was the EXACT same fucking toy my neighbor had for the Ewok Village from Return of The Jedi. They didn’t even change anything besides adding green leaves. They just marketed it as something different 8 years later. What a fucking sham! They must have had warehouses of the originals left over and pulled a fast one on a bunch of kids. It’s the same friggen plastic mold for christ’s sake.

ewokvillage Kenner Toys: The True Prince Of Thieves

Had I known this before hand, I would have had my parents swipe my neighbors Ewok Village and have them just give me that for Christmas. Or I would have held onto the Sherwood Forest one and unloaded it off on a Star Wars uber fan geek for a hefty price.

Does anyone else get the feeling George Lucas somehow masterminded this entire thing?


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Pastime, Random, Video
Sep82009

Mr. Bucket

A long forgotten TV commercial from the early 90′s, brought back to the captain’s attention by the original Seaman. I really don’t know what to say about this, besides the extreme suggestive nature of this “harmless” kid’s toy campaign.

“The first one to get your balls into Mr. Bucket wins!”

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I’m sure one of those girls in that commercial eventually ended up here.


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Pastime
Aug202009

Kids Are Kids Again! Part 2

Our greatest pastimes turned into real life movies!
A continuation from Part 1

Lego Kids Are Kids Again! Part 2

4) Lego Matrix – An X rated movie good for both the kids and adults of the world.

Estes rockets Kids Are Kids Again! Part 2

5) Estes “Double D” Rockets! As Obama feels it is more important to repeat  failed mistakes of the past with the $3 billion Cash for Clunkers tax payer funded program (Clinton did it with the housing market – see where that got us?), the United States can no longer afford to pay for a space shuttle program, set to expire in 2010. Backyard Estes rockets are the closest we’re ever gonna get to the moon – so, why not make a movie out of it? And Hollywood won’t even have to pay for the special effects,  just bribe teachers to have their 10 year old kids build the rockets as a science project.

gremlin Kids Are Kids Again! Part 2

6) Gremlins vs. Ferby:  What happens when the world runs out of water and the battery powered Ferby’s wreak havoc on downtown LA? Da,da,da….


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Retro
Jul282009

Does Anyone Else Remember This Shitty Gift?

When I was a youth, there was a gift (I got more than once) that can easily top anyone’s shit list. I’ve been scouring the internet for years trying to find it, to no avail. Most people I ask don’t recall it either.

It’s a jacket.

No not one of those sweet ass levi denim jackets parents are known to give kids in the early 1990′s this so much better (worse). It’s a really, really cheap, plastic, white “windbreaker” that comes with a dozen colorful markers. The idea is you get to draw whacky shit and color in your jacket, than show it off to the other kids on the playground who don’t have one and subsequently get beat up.

I’m not even going to get into what a horrible idea for a product this is. I couldn’t draw, plus I was always at the mercy of other patrons of my Birthdays to let them draw all over it. Basically it was always a bunch of squiggley fucking lines with the phrase “cool!” written over it.  I even wore it out in public a few times.

If anyone has any idea what this atrocity is called or has a picture whether it’s off the internet or a picture of themselves with one, please leave us a comment. I can’t find proof that this exists anywhere and I’m starting to question by mental stability.

If were lucky, someone will make a movie about it


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