In a Walmart in Ohio, Robert Jenkins walked into the store just like any other patron. Except this trip was to be different than everybody else’s…Robert had a different agenda.
After browsing the lovely selection of meats that Walmart has to offer, Robert was extremely dissatisfied. So, what did this distinguished gentlemen do in response? He whipped out his dick and pissed all over the meats. That is right folks, Robert T. Jenkins of Canton Ohio, pissed all over the meat selection at Walmart. It’s about goddamn time someone has done so. You don’t know how may times I have walked passed (once) the Walmart meat section saying, “Someone should take a huge wiz all over those meats”. Well my friends, Robert T. Jenkins did…and now he is in jail.
From reports, this went on for about a good 23 seconds or so. While no one tried to stop him, everyone just sat there in awe watching him marinate the meats. One woman actually didn’t know this was happened until after security guards apprehended him. She was quoted with saying, “I thought he was looking at the burnt sausages. I didn’t realize that that was his [peener].”
Another patron was standing next to Jenkins during the incident. This patron claimed that Jenkins looked at him, winked, smiled (he was missing a tooth) and said, “I’m just giving the steaks a little flava baby!”
We salute you Robert Jenkins and enjoy your time in jail. Tasty tip for you Robert, the food you get in prison is pre-pissed.
